Got this in an email. I liked a few of these.... Holiday Eating Tips 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts celery on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see celery, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. If your vegan, there has to be something more exotic than carrots and celery available as well. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly! Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, cookies in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!

I love this!  Thank you!

LOL, very good advice, bob,except that don't forget, Grandma got ran over by a reindeer, after she had too much eggnog Christmas eve. It's not the eggnog, it's what they put in the eggnog! straight eggnog is fine...alcoholic kind is ..woo hoo, watch out...I don't like eggnog either way...althought the Mc donalds kind isn't bad, kind of a vanilla shake flavor...and yes, carrot sticks and celery are much better slathered with ranch dip or somethink thick and creamy. Never eat "straight." What about those little meatballs in sweet, sour saunce? And the little quiches with spinach and cheese? Christmas cakes and pies..mmm mmmmm goood...love it...take care all...kat, and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year...got to be happier...!!!!

Well kat, I know you've been having a difficult time this season. Now I know just what I hope someone gives you........FOOOOOOOOOOOOOD ! :) You got all yummies down pat. I'm a straight eggnog kinda guy. Well I do like to add something to it. Fresh ground nutmeg. LOL My A was already planning the rum aspect of the eggnog before Halloween. "you better not screw me outta my rum and eggnog" Funnny we hadn't had it in 4 years. Oh well, I just laughed. I'm hoping I get time to bake off some Tollhouse cookies. Maybe this weekend. Bob

Bob

Very funny! Thanks for the laughs!!! :)

Wow Bob... better make sure you remain anonomyous.. every doctor on the planet might just come and hunt you down... but as for the rest of us... I think we can deal with the "rules" you posted! lol

Thanks for a "spirited" post!

Cilla

(((Bobump)))

Ha ha ha, Thank You for sharing this much "food for thought"
I would like to add, a saying that seems to fit here:
"Time flies if you are having fun... Or not"
Wishes, Tracey