Was sitting down and getting ready to work on putting together a meeting plan for a December 30th meeting that I will be chairing and thought about the topics of guilt and shame... and the tools to help us shed them. I came across this "story" by Larry Harp that I just fell in love with and will probably use as an introduction to that meeting..... for myself I have recently begun a new relationship after ending a 21 year marriage three years ago due to my ex's infiedility and have used many of these ponderings to help me move forward and now have no regrets that I have done so.....
So.... as we move into the new year.... let's examine.... Leaving the City of Regret
I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. I'm talking about my annual "Guilt Trip".
I got tickets to fly there on Wish I Had airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my baggage, which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was weighed down with a thousand memories of what might have been. No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town.
As I checked into the Last Resort Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year's most important event, the Annual Pity Party. I wasn't going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there.
First, there would be the Done family, you know... Should Have, Would Have and Could Have. Then came the I Had family. You probably know ol' Wish and his clan. Of course, the Opportunities would be present, Missed and Lost. The biggest family would be the Yesterday's. There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share. Fault would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in his life, and each story would be loudly applauded by Don't Blame Me and I Couldn't Help It.
Well, to make a long story short, I went to this depressing party knowing that there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that all of this trip and subsequent "pity parties" could be cancelled by ME! I started to truly realized that I did not have to be there.
I didn't have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN'T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as encouraging. Knowing this, I left the City of Regret immediatley and left no forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I've made in the past? YES! But there is no physical way to undo them.
So, if you're planning a trip back to the City of Regret, please cancel all your reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a place called, Starting Again. I liked it so much that I have now taken up permanent residence there. My neighbors, the I Forgive Myselfs and the New Starts are so very helpful. By the way, you don't have to carry around heavy baggage, because the load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. God bless you in finding this great town. If you can find it - it's in your own heart - please look me up. I live on I Can Do It street.
Hope you enjoyed and hope it might help you to move forward this coming year!
Luv
Cilla
bobump said
Dec 15, 2005
I'm scheduled to chair a 12/30 meeting myself.
Can I steal this? :)
Bob
browneyes said
Dec 15, 2005
Thank you so much for this - I needed to hear this today as I am struggling with a newly sober husband.
Love Julie
Cilla said
Dec 15, 2005
Hey Bob
Of course you can "steal" this... always willing to share... experience, strength and hope.... amazing possibilities in spreading the al-anon joy.
Morning ((((((((Group)))))))
Was sitting down and getting ready to work on putting together a meeting plan for a December 30th meeting that I will be chairing and thought about the topics of guilt and shame... and the tools to help us shed them. I came across this "story" by Larry Harp that I just fell in love with and will probably use as an introduction to that meeting..... for myself I have recently begun a new relationship after ending a 21 year marriage three years ago due to my ex's infiedility and have used many of these ponderings to help me move forward and now have no regrets that I have done so.....
So.... as we move into the new year.... let's examine.... Leaving the City of Regret
I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. I'm talking about my annual "Guilt Trip".
I got tickets to fly there on Wish I Had airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my baggage, which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was weighed down with a thousand memories of what might have been. No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town.
As I checked into the Last Resort Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year's most important event, the Annual Pity Party. I wasn't going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there.
First, there would be the Done family, you know... Should Have, Would Have and Could Have. Then came the I Had family. You probably know ol' Wish and his clan. Of course, the Opportunities would be present, Missed and Lost. The biggest family would be the Yesterday's. There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share. Fault would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in his life, and each story would be loudly applauded by Don't Blame Me and I Couldn't Help It.
Well, to make a long story short, I went to this depressing party knowing that there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that all of this trip and subsequent "pity parties" could be cancelled by ME! I started to truly realized that I did not have to be there.
I didn't have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN'T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as encouraging. Knowing this, I left the City of Regret immediatley and left no forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I've made in the past? YES! But there is no physical way to undo them.
So, if you're planning a trip back to the City of Regret, please cancel all your reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a place called, Starting Again. I liked it so much that I have now taken up permanent residence there. My neighbors, the I Forgive Myselfs and the New Starts are so very helpful. By the way, you don't have to carry around heavy baggage, because the load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. God bless you in finding this great town. If you can find it - it's in your own heart - please look me up. I live on I Can Do It street.
Hope you enjoyed and hope it might help you to move forward this coming year!
Luv
Cilla
Thank you so much for this - I needed to hear this today as I am struggling with a newly sober husband.
Love Julie
Hey Bob
Of course you can "steal" this... always willing to share... experience, strength and hope.... amazing possibilities in spreading the al-anon joy.
Cilla