Now that my husband got out of jail on Monday, he has been sober(no meth)for over a week I guess. I was happy at first but he is driving me CRAZY!!!!!
It is STILL ALL ABOUT HIM-He paces, he runs his mouth all day long, he wants constant attention, he is SOOOOOOOOO antsy.
Then today, he comes home and he's like ON ME. Just like why can't you do this, let's do this, what are you doing?, what time is it? What ? What? What? Just in everybody's conversations and business. Dang, what is going on? Thank God he just left to go to a meeting. He can leave me alone for a while. And he cannot stand it if I am not being "nice" to him. The littlest thing can set him off like "what do you mean by that?" "why are you looking at me like that?" And he tells our children what to do at every moment-does feeling out of control cause people to want to control other people or WHAT??? That is quite obvious here lol
I KNOW I should be grateful that he is sober but like I said before, I seriously doubt this will last. And he's like "I've been doing pretty good" and I'm like "It's been two days!!!!!" Out of a fricking almost ten year marriage and you want a brownie button??? I didn't say that but I was thinkin it! And now he wants to punish me for not being nice? I have an attitude? What about all the years that I kept our family going while he was in jail and then came out and abused us verbally. what about all the lies and the yelling and the foul moods and and and!!!!
How long does it take for him to be human? Help!! This is crazy. Please tell me it gets better.
Thanks for letting me vent-I sure hope some of you know what might be going on and what you did, I'm out of ideas here
Love Julie
lin0606 said
Dec 14, 2005
If it's only been two days, he is still going through detox - his body is getting rid of poisons that have built up over years and years. So, yeah, some of it will go away - the antsy, can't settle, craving sweets part. And, if he goes for a program and starts really working on changing himself, a lot of the rest will go away too.
I guess for you, it's the same tactics as when he is using - take care of yourself, set reasonable boundaries and stick to them, be firm but not nasty, loving but not a doormat. This is hard for him - I have heard a lot of A's describe the first few days of sobriety as a horribly fragile time - even those who later relapse are scared, hopeful, wondering if this really is the end of their familiar hell.
canadianguy said
Dec 15, 2005
Early recovery is really tough, emotionally, on BOTH of you.... Best option is typically for you to "work your program like mad", cuz he will be up and down like a yo-yo..... sometimes extra attentive, sometimes extra irritating, sometimes aloof....
The more you are working on your stuff right now, and being affected by his, is the better for you both at this stage...
Tom
abbyal said
Dec 15, 2005
Hello Brown eyes , your bringing back memories for me , your husb is in what I lovingly call "stark raving sober mode" hehe poor guy. he needs to fix the world now and your the closest target. he is trying to live sober and its really tough , be patient and work your program .
Everythingu have learned to date works wether they are using or sober , look after you , don't argue over stupid crap , just not worth it. I really hope u are going to f2f meetings , your going to need them more than ever now.
And as to when it ends welllllllllllllllllllllllll I was told it takes 5 yrs to get thier h eads out of thier butt. ( that was encouraging ) sheeeeeesh. it's really not that bad but he is sober so enjoy
We have some great books Dilema of the alcoholic marriage talks about early sobriety and communication. Also a samll red booklet called Living with sobriety has alot of valuable info.
Read it and do what it says it will get easier. and humor helped us alot in early sobriety stopped alot of stupid arguments . When my husb used to try and "make me a better person" by pointing out my defects I would stop him and say i won't take your inventory if u don't take mine ! he would laugh and we could move on.
Hey guys
Hope everyone is well
Now that my husband got out of jail on Monday, he has been sober(no meth)for over a week I guess. I was happy at first but he is driving me CRAZY!!!!!
It is STILL ALL ABOUT HIM-He paces, he runs his mouth all day long, he wants constant attention, he is SOOOOOOOOO antsy.
Then today, he comes home and he's like ON ME. Just like why can't you do this, let's do this, what are you doing?, what time is it? What ? What? What? Just in everybody's conversations and business. Dang, what is going on? Thank God he just left to go to a meeting. He can leave me alone for a while. And he cannot stand it if I am not being "nice" to him. The littlest thing can set him off like "what do you mean by that?" "why are you looking at me like that?" And he tells our children what to do at every moment-does feeling out of control cause people to want to control other people or WHAT??? That is quite obvious here lol
I KNOW I should be grateful that he is sober but like I said before, I seriously doubt this will last. And he's like "I've been doing pretty good" and I'm like "It's been two days!!!!!" Out of a fricking almost ten year marriage and you want a brownie button??? I didn't say that but I was thinkin it! And now he wants to punish me for not being nice? I have an attitude? What about all the years that I kept our family going while he was in jail and then came out and abused us verbally. what about all the lies and the yelling and the foul moods and and and!!!!
How long does it take for him to be human? Help!!
This is crazy. Please tell me it gets better.
Thanks for letting me vent-I sure hope some of you know what might be going on and what you did, I'm out of ideas here
Love Julie
Early recovery is really tough, emotionally, on BOTH of you.... Best option is typically for you to "work your program like mad", cuz he will be up and down like a yo-yo..... sometimes extra attentive, sometimes extra irritating, sometimes aloof....
The more you are working on your stuff right now, and being affected by his, is the better for you both at this stage...
Tom
Hello Brown eyes , your bringing back memories for me , your husb is in what I lovingly call "stark raving sober mode" hehe poor guy. he needs to fix the world now and your the closest target. he is trying to live sober and its really tough , be patient and work your program .
Everythingu have learned to date works wether they are using or sober , look after you , don't argue over stupid crap , just not worth it. I really hope u are going to f2f meetings , your going to need them more than ever now.
And as to when it ends welllllllllllllllllllllllll I was told it takes 5 yrs to get thier h eads out of thier butt. ( that was encouraging ) sheeeeeesh. it's really not that bad but he is sober so enjoy
We have some great books Dilema of the alcoholic marriage talks about early sobriety and communication. Also a samll red booklet called Living with sobriety has alot of valuable info.
Read it and do what it says it will get easier. and humor helped us alot in early sobriety stopped alot of stupid arguments . When my husb used to try and "make me a better person" by pointing out my defects I would stop him and say i won't take your inventory if u don't take mine ! he would laugh and we could move on.
Don't miss the good days Louise