My husband has been bugging me for a while now to co-sign a loan for a car and I haven't wanted to do it. I had slip an told him in 90 days when going to aa , which he forgot that part, I will co-sign, well yesterday he went out like some of you have read earier post an didn't call him. This morning when I got up he had threw up all over his blanket so he can't say it didn't happen. I log it down so the next time he brings up about co-signing I going to remind him of yesterday. His son was the one doing all the calling, clean up after him, no I have gotten better. He has not called me because I guess he knows he messed up an he is afaird of what I am going to say. I called one time his cell no answers so that is it. I am going to try an hold on for a while longer.
-- Edited by nycbt at 13:08, 2005-12-14
captcodee said
Dec 14, 2005
You just gave me an idea.
My husband has been bugging me too about getting into more debt...
I have been uneasy, as I want to work together, and not disregard his debt...
But I never thought of telling him he has to have 90 days sober first.
The only thing is that I often place boundaries that I know he wont reach cause I don't want to do what he wants... know what I mean?
I will have to make sure that i am prepared to go through with this ultimatum...
Thanks for your story. Your experience has given me strength.
Aron
Christy said
Dec 14, 2005
(((NY)))
Thanks for the daily smile I get from you...
You're just doin so darn good!!!!
Christy
nycbt said
Dec 14, 2005
Thank u for answering. I have called him an talk to him him an threw about the 90 day thing. I have not told him I worte down nor well I. However the next time he bugs me I am going to bring it up so that he can't say anything.
rosie light shines said
Dec 14, 2005
WOW!!!! 90 days sober???? i told my X, he had to be sober a YEAR B4 i did anything "major" with him......of course he didn't make it....i got sick of it/him.....i left.......NO more debt that was NOT mine....result??? GR8 credit profile................peace/ rosie
megan said
Dec 14, 2005
Hi NYCBT
(((NYCBT)))
Good work logging down the slip. This will help you with the plan not to sign the loan, that is smart.
And not telling him is to protect yourself, I am proud of you.
Yes, you have gotten much better and stronger.You even have the prespective from a healthier point of view that you can see that his son is doing what you used to and that you are taking care of yourself. Very nice :)
megan
Flora123 said
Dec 14, 2005
dear ncybt,
Thank you for posting - I wondered if you had weakened over that co-signing!
The 90 days thing sounds brilliant. I know, in your heart, you do not want to so-sign, but, I am the first to weaken when someone I love harps at me - as they do.
Good for you ncybt, if he makes it to the 90 days, the co-signing might be OK, if he doesn't, you have kept hold of your credit rating (and your money, and your peace of mind, financially, at least).
Actually, if he makes it to 90 days, he might even start to re-think his own behaviour...... but, mustn't project that far!
Good luck, keep posting
Lots of love,
Flora
xxxxx
cdb said
Dec 14, 2005
Thanks for keeping us posted. You are getting stronger and thinking alot clearer :) Change is hard for all of us. Keep up the good work..cdb :)
abbyal said
Dec 14, 2005
Well NY sounds to me like your trying to force a solution and that never works , always backfires. You either sign it or not . 90 days he could proabaly do standing on his head , day nintey one after you co sign. Boom I know u have been there before.
Its one of those situations where a simple NO would work or co sign and get it over with . The fact that u have to co sign a loan for a grown man I find ineresting. Are u the only one with good credit ??
Follow your heart ny and make a decission , save yourself 90 days of waiting for the shoe to fall. bye for now
leo said
Dec 15, 2005
Hi first of all I have read back on a lot of your posts and I want to tell you that you should be proud of yourself for coming so far and looking out for you.The 90 days sober may sound like an ultimatum to your A and I tend to agree with the last post it could be day 91 and then you are tied down. I would say go with your gut instinct if it is telling you not to sign then don't do it. Is the car a necessity or can you manage with the one you have? Luv leo xx
-- Edited by nycbt at 13:08, 2005-12-14
You just gave me an idea.
My husband has been bugging me too about getting into more debt...
I have been uneasy, as I want to work together, and not disregard his debt...
But I never thought of telling him he has to have 90 days sober first.
The only thing is that I often place boundaries that I know he wont reach cause I don't want to do what he wants... know what I mean?
I will have to make sure that i am prepared to go through with this ultimatum...
Thanks for your story. Your experience has given me strength.
WOW!!!! 90 days sober???? i told my X, he had to be sober a YEAR B4 i did anything "major" with him......of course he didn't make it....i got sick of it/him.....i left.......NO more debt that was NOT mine....result??? GR8 credit profile................peace/ rosie
Hi NYCBT
(((NYCBT)))
Good work logging down the slip. This will help you with the plan not to sign the loan, that is smart.
And not telling him is to protect yourself, I am proud of you.
Yes, you have gotten much better and stronger.You even have the prespective from a healthier point of view that you can see that his son is doing what you used to and that you are taking care of yourself. Very nice :)
megan
Well NY sounds to me like your trying to force a solution and that never works , always backfires. You either sign it or not . 90 days he could proabaly do standing on his head , day nintey one after you co sign. Boom I know u have been there before.
Its one of those situations where a simple NO would work or co sign and get it over with . The fact that u have to co sign a loan for a grown man I find ineresting. Are u the only one with good credit ??
Follow your heart ny and make a decission , save yourself 90 days of waiting for the shoe to fall. bye for now