When I first came to Alanon I only had my mom and my sister for my support system. Then when I came to Alanon on went online who the told me to get into a face to face group. Then I meet two of the most awsome people who are online an have help me alot. One is my best friend and the other is my sponsor. However one of the people in my support system my mom is having a real hard time with my dad and now she worrying about me. She is falling apart she said she is going to have a nervous break down. So I have told myself tried not call her so much which is going to be hard because she is one of the most important people in my support group.

Just a thought. Can you ask your mom to let you know if she needs some space and not get overwhelmed with her problems? This could be an example to her of your unconditional love, and example for her to set her own loving boundries, and and example to her that she needs to take care of herself, or she can't support anyone. Maybe if you share your esh w/ how you are dealing with things it will give her ideas. Maybe you express to your mom that you are also there for her ? I dunno, just thinking out loud. Bob

When I feel all tied up inside, I refer to my Courage To Change, or ODAT, look in the index, and find a topic that suits what I am feeling.

NOTHING works for me as good as the daily reader pages.  Sometimes I even flip it open, and read the first page I see. You would be suprized how often that works!

Aron

I too, have my parents as an important part of my support system, my mum and Dad are great, their love and support is endless.

But at times I do need to choose not to lean on them. They are in their 70's and I know they worry about me and their grand children, I feel at this time in their lives, they do not need to take on all my woes. I choose to maintain this relationship with my A, and I decide how to cope with the problems and stress that arise from it. 

I do feel we need to seek support from a variety of sources, so that those closest to us do not suffer as well. I am very concsious (?sp) of this. This site is a most wonderful and important one of these sources.

I love this place!

Feather

I too have to use diferent boundaries with my different support system. The bondaries change too. My best friend is not in alanon and is a wonderful enabler :( She tried to go to alanon once but chickened out. I love her so much and realize that if she asks I will talk alanon but sometmes it is too much for her to hear so I respect her need to not mention alanon. I also have to think about how much to share with my parents since they tend to worry about me and that is where this site is so important to me too. It seems we all go through ups and downs and I find it is important to be sensitive to others needs and try to keep in mind when they are needing space from intense conversations. The bigger my support system the better my recovery. Then you don't exhaust the ones closest to you :) That is what I have found. cdb :)