I am new to this forum and am looking for some help. Does anyone know some good sites that have info on alcoholism and its affects on the person's body and mind? I know I read some stuff before....but it was a long time ago and I need to refresh my memory. My husband is an alcoholic, and until lately I had let him be a driving force in my life. No more. I have taken back the reins of my own life. I dont want this marriage to end, because I know the guy I married is still in there somewhere....he makes an appearance every now and then. And my husband is not, nor ever has been physically abusive. But he does get verbally abusive and I know its from the alcohol. If I stay in this marriage, I need all the info I can get to try to find the words to explain to my children why daddy is the way he is sometimes. They love him dearly and he always treats them well. The main problem the kids have with him is him not being available to them when they need him or want him to be around. The main problem I have with him is that he gets verbally abusive and always puts me down because of things I cannot do because of my chronic illness. Always trying to make me feel guilty and like I am worth nothing. But I wont let him do that anymore. I am better than that and deserve better and I wont be a doormat any longer. I also want to start in on him again about quitting drinking. I have let that go for too long. Was easier to just let it go and not fight about it. But I want him to quit and I need all the ammo you guys can give me. He knows he is an alcoholic, and has stopped drinking in the past. But it never stuck. We've been married for ten years, and I want many more years with the man I love....I just need to get that man back. Any info anyone can supply would be sooooo greatly appreciated! And I hope that, as a person who has lived with an alcoholic for so long, I hope that I can help others here too. Hugsssssssssss....Dawn

Some very good information at www.gettingthemsober.com

I also highly recommend the "Getting Them Sober" books, particularly volume one, written by Toby Rice Drews.  Toby also actively runs that site, and there is all kinds of good info on there.

Good luck!

Tom

HELLO AGAIN DAWN!

 

HAVE YOU BEEN INTO THE CHAT ROOM? IT'S A GREAT PLACE, FULL OF WONDERFUL PEOPLE, SUPPORT ECT...

THEY HAVE MEETINGS THERE TOO, AT 9AM AND 9PM EST MON-FRI.

HOPE TO SEE YOU IN THERE SOME TIME SOON

FLUMPY

Dawn,

I apologize for my previous post.  I did not know that I was not supposed to post about other links.  I also did not know that the site I posted about was a poor site.  I am sorry if I offended anyone.

-- Edited by Powerless at 19:10, 2005-12-12

I just want to add that though the Getting Them Sober books and website are very helpful, the title is a bit misleading. YOU can't really get them sober. What you can do is get out of the way, so that you stop protecting them from the effects of their drinking. Once you stop enabling, drinking is not so comfortable for them. The basic tenet of alanon, and the most useful life lesson I know, is this - You can't change other people. You can only change yourself. Sometimes, when you change yourself, other people change in relation to you. Sometimes they don't. Don't feel guilty about the fact that you have not been nagging at him to stop drinking. It wouldn't have worked anyway, it just would have made your home a less happy place. Keep the focus on YOU, and the path becomes clearer.

Welcome Conwolf :) Hope to see you on the board and in the chatroom meetings :) cdb

Today my A wanted me to take him to thebank and to go blow so he wouldnt be embarrassed with my dad and his friends having to take him. I know I enabled him from an embarrassment, but didnt want my dad to have to take him.  Is that enabling?