I have been listening to a lot of people lately who give me different views on addicts and ACOAs and I am thankful. I feel like my HP is talking to me through them. Some of the things that people have told me (I'm writing them out because it makes me absorb them better that way):
1. He stopped talking to me - the drugs are now talking to me. He is like the car the drugs are driving.
2. How can I expect him to care about me when he doesnt care enough about himself?
3. When people have grown up in an addictive household - they tend to push people away because they cant accept love from people well.
4. I play the push me pull me game just as much as he does - I changed my number and then expected him to try to find a way to get a hold of me. Stupid move - but thinking I was protecting myself. Hurting him in the process and making the situation worse because I was trying to CONTROL.
5. He probably has bigger issues than just being an addict. He may stop doing pills today - but he will always have an addiction and he needs to find a program.
6. I'm allowing someone who has NO control over his OWN life to control MY life right now. How crazy is that!!!
I may add more to this later when I continue to think- HOWEVER I have an urge to work on my business. I am NOT fighting this urge. I am going to do something for MYSELF!!
kitty said
Dec 7, 2005
((((( hugs Cyn)))))
Listening & absorbing & it sounds like you are, thanks for posting those reminders, it helps us all... I am glad you are loving yourself today!
your friend in recovery, -K
bobump said
Dec 7, 2005
Your new Delta Chi MIP Nickname is Cyn the sponge ! (Sorry movie reference).
It's great to get everyone's esh and that your able to take all the views and work them into your own. For me that is how the program works best. Sure there are some things that seem to work for the majority, but one of the great things is take what you like.
Like I've told you before, while you sometimes minimize your situation by comparing it to others, your situations is parallels ours even if they aren't the same. That is why as a group we seem to understand where nobody else does.
Your growth in a short time here is incredible. Hold your head high, give yourself and your HP credit for a wonderful team effort. HP can do many things but it's alot easier if your open to it.
I'm so glad you keep coming back.
Bob
-- Edited by bobump at 22:50, 2005-12-07
nmike said
Dec 8, 2005
cyn,
Thanks for the insight. You learn from them and then we learn from you. I can relate to the last one of the out of control one controlling your life.
In support,
Nancy
sandie123 said
Dec 8, 2005
Keep on listening! The words you have written are all helpful to see. Thank you! They are great reminders!
Keep in the focus on YOU! Keep coming back!
Linda
I have been listening to a lot of people lately who give me different views on addicts and ACOAs and I am thankful. I feel like my HP is talking to me through them. Some of the things that people have told me (I'm writing them out because it makes me absorb them better that way):
1. He stopped talking to me - the drugs are now talking to me. He is like the car the drugs are driving.
2. How can I expect him to care about me when he doesnt care enough about himself?
3. When people have grown up in an addictive household - they tend to push people away because they cant accept love from people well.
4. I play the push me pull me game just as much as he does - I changed my number and then expected him to try to find a way to get a hold of me. Stupid move - but thinking I was protecting myself. Hurting him in the process and making the situation worse because I was trying to CONTROL.
5. He probably has bigger issues than just being an addict. He may stop doing pills today - but he will always have an addiction and he needs to find a program.
6. I'm allowing someone who has NO control over his OWN life to control MY life right now. How crazy is that!!!
I may add more to this later when I continue to think- HOWEVER I have an urge to work on my business. I am NOT fighting this urge. I am going to do something for MYSELF!!
((((( hugs Cyn)))))
Listening & absorbing & it sounds like you are, thanks for posting those reminders, it helps us all... I am glad you are loving yourself today!
your friend in recovery, -K
Your new Delta Chi MIP Nickname is Cyn the sponge ! (Sorry movie reference).
It's great to get everyone's esh and that your able to take all the views and work them into your own. For me that is how the program works best. Sure there are some things that seem to work for the majority, but one of the great things is take what you like.
Like I've told you before, while you sometimes minimize your situation by comparing it to others, your situations is parallels ours even if they aren't the same. That is why as a group we seem to understand where nobody else does.
Your growth in a short time here is incredible. Hold your head high, give yourself and your HP credit for a wonderful team effort. HP can do many things but it's alot easier if your open to it.
I'm so glad you keep coming back.
Bob
-- Edited by bobump at 22:50, 2005-12-07
cyn,
Thanks for the insight. You learn from them and then we learn from you. I can relate to the last one of the out of control one controlling your life.
In support,
Nancy