My "a" and I finally were able to go out Saturday evening. Of course he wanted to see a band at one of the local pavillon's, I agreed because I'm trying to have more of an open mind about the things that are important to him. The band was great, I really enjoyed the music and being around people instead of spending another evening at home alone or with the kids. I feel like I did really well with just letting the evening happen. My "a" and his friend got completely wasted, they spent so much money on alcohol, it's a waste to me. So I was designated driver, I didn't really mind. By half the way through the concert they both looked pale like they were sick, they were just really high off alcohol and pot. I kept my mouth shut and did not worry because honestly I knew the "a" knew he'd had enough. He even said, " I guess I can't drink like I used to." When I first met him he would be that wasted, he'd puke then start drinking again. This time, he stopped. No one puked in my car Good for me!! In the old days before program I would have been anxious and scared about how much he was drinking, I would have monitored and verbalized that he needed to slow down. I didn't do that this time because I know now that he's not himself when he's been drinking that much, and talking logic to him is useless. We enjoyed the night and the music and that was o.k. for me. Just wanted to share.
Twinmom~
lin0606 said
Dec 6, 2005
This looks like working your program. Not expecting him to be something he is not. It is possible for life with an active A to be OK, when we keep to focus on ourselves. Good for you - did you get a chance to dance?
kismetstrand said
Dec 7, 2005
Great job twinmom!! Love the title to your post - it reminds me of what I lovingly refer to as the Duck Suit. I can see you've found your own duck suit here in program - isn't it great when we can find acceptance with what is and focus on just enjoying ourself like you did that night? Way to go!!
My "a" and I finally were able to go out Saturday evening. Of course he wanted to see a band at one of the local pavillon's, I agreed because I'm trying to have more of an open mind about the things that are important to him. The band was great, I really enjoyed the music and being around people instead of spending another evening at home alone or with the kids. I feel like I did really well with just letting the evening happen. My "a" and his friend got completely wasted, they spent so much money on alcohol, it's a waste to me. So I was designated driver, I didn't really mind. By half the way through the concert they both looked pale like they were sick, they were just really high off alcohol and pot. I kept my mouth shut and did not worry because honestly I knew the "a" knew he'd had enough. He even said, " I guess I can't drink like I used to." When I first met him he would be that wasted, he'd puke then start drinking again. This time, he stopped. No one puked in my car
Good for me!! In the old days before program I would have been anxious and scared about how much he was drinking, I would have monitored and verbalized that he needed to slow down. I didn't do that this time because I know now that he's not himself when he's been drinking that much, and talking logic to him is useless. We enjoyed the night and the music and that was o.k. for me. 
Just wanted to share.
Twinmom~
Great job twinmom!! Love the title to your post - it reminds me of what I lovingly refer to as the Duck Suit. I can see you've found your own duck suit here in program - isn't it great when we can find acceptance with what is and focus on just enjoying ourself like you did that night? Way to go!!
Quackingly yours in program, Kis *wink*