I feel terrible, yet relieved.  I was really missing my big kids today.  they are still with their dad and do not want to return home as long as I live with my husband.  He kept bothering me and asking me what was wrong.  I told him that it's his fault the kids and I left to begin with and his fault they don't want to come back now.  I told him that all fo the misery for the past five years was because of him.  We got into a huge arguement.  I feel terrible that I blamed him for everything.  I felt all of this resentment built up inside of me and now it's still there, but more under the surface.  Does that make sense? He acknowledged his share of the blame because of the addiction.

powerless,

If that is how you feel, that is how you feel. I have been told to honor your feelings because they are real. In the do's and don'ts of Alanon we are told to not be afraid to make mistake. Awareness in recovery is progress.

In support,

Nancy

what is done is done, you can't undo it!  Move on and work those steps.  Make amends iif you are so inclined.  You are really gonna need this program with all your changes in your life and your new aspirations for the future.

josey

-- Edited by jrtjosey at 00:24, 2005-12-04