Love is unconditional. It is free. There is no logic to it, it is a gift from God (or OF God).
I did learn one thing... cuz I used to be real desperate for what I would get in return... I would give so much of myself, I would give all of myself & then look around, waiting & expecting to receive something in return.
But God showed me a secret about what it is to love another... that experience of love that you hold for someone else, is your love. No one can take it from you. The love you give, is your love.
It helped me alot to realize this, it made me feel free-er that ever, & never feel guilty or expecting anything back from loving.
Just loving is what it is all about... the Irony here for me, is that I am NOW learning to love myself. It is self-preservation, the martyr has died & I must nourish my own Soul with my own good lovin'.
God help me to see the spark of divine you put in me, that I might love myself, I know you want us to love ourselves. Help me, God help me!
bobump said
Nov 30, 2005
Ah yes. My martry must be slayed. I too gave too much. I gave more than I should have also. When I was wasn't getting back anything near in proportion to what I was giving the martyr grew. The martyr w/ the holier than everyone attitude. The righteous sarcastic ah*** martyr. This in turn only fed the negativity in the one who I showed love too, the one who had so little love of self there was nothing to give. Nothing I was looking for or expected.
It's so easy to show love in Alanon. It abounds here. And where you least expect it, from strangers or only newly made friends, you receive love. Sometimes in return, sometimes unrequited. I think I've felt more loved in Alanon in a few months than I've felt the last 15 years combined.
Bob
abbyal said
Nov 30, 2005
Hello Kitty nice sharring , I heard that love is for free and for fun . shorter version of what u wrote thanks now if I could remember that all the time . hehe Louise
cdb said
Dec 1, 2005
Hello kitty,
I so loved this post. I am learning to love myself but keep getting sidetracked with all that is going on in my life. I learn so much from you posts (when I can finally read them). I am going to start loving myself by saying some prayers a friend of mine sent me. Those prayers will help me to connect closer with not only my HP/higher power but also with myself. Thanks for this post and your unconditional support. cdb :)
nycbt said
Dec 1, 2005
I like the idea of loving ur self. That is something that I am continuing to learn. I have grown alot in a month about loving my self. I learn for love u have to take shower, keep clean an then everything will work out.
-- Edited by nycbt at 11:22, 2005-12-01
rosie light shines said
Dec 1, 2005
KITTY>>>>>>>>>I did learn one thing... cuz I used to be real desperate for what I would get in return... I would give so much of myself, I would give all of myself & then look around, waiting & expecting to receive something in return.
ROSIE>>>>>>> i did this too...and my irritational *expectations* were *pre meditated resentments*........now???? if i want to give??? no expectations, NO cares about the *return* than i do.......if i don't really want to give??? than it a--depends on who it is......b...can i handle the possible non gratitude.........either way.....if i don't really want to do it??? i do not..................i felt the same way, expecting gratitude/ love/ affection for my "giving too much" now i stopped that....i take care of ME first.....give, but with NO expectations of return......great share, rosie
Love is unconditional. It is free. There is no logic to it, it is a gift from God (or OF God).
I did learn one thing... cuz I used to be real desperate for what I would get in return... I would give so much of myself, I would give all of myself & then look around, waiting & expecting to receive something in return.
But God showed me a secret about what it is to love another... that experience of love that you hold for someone else, is your love. No one can take it from you. The love you give, is your love.
It helped me alot to realize this, it made me feel free-er that ever, & never feel guilty or expecting anything back from loving.
Just loving is what it is all about... the Irony here for me, is that I am NOW learning to love myself. It is self-preservation, the martyr has died & I must nourish my own Soul with my own good lovin'.
God help me to see the spark of divine you put in me, that I might love myself, I know you want us to love ourselves. Help me, God help me!
Ah yes. My martry must be slayed. I too gave too much. I gave more than I should have also. When I was wasn't getting back anything near in proportion to what I was giving the martyr grew. The martyr w/ the holier than everyone attitude. The righteous sarcastic ah*** martyr. This in turn only fed the negativity in the one who I showed love too, the one who had so little love of self there was nothing to give. Nothing I was looking for or expected.
It's so easy to show love in Alanon. It abounds here. And where you least expect it, from strangers or only newly made friends, you receive love. Sometimes in return, sometimes unrequited. I think I've felt more loved in Alanon in a few months than I've felt the last 15 years combined.
Bob
Hello kitty,
I so loved this post. I am learning to love myself but keep getting sidetracked with all that is going on in my life. I learn so much from you posts (when I can finally read them). I am going to start loving myself by saying some prayers a friend of mine sent me. Those prayers will help me to connect closer with not only my HP/higher power but also with myself. Thanks for this post and your unconditional support. cdb :)
-- Edited by nycbt at 11:22, 2005-12-01
KITTY>>>>>>>>>I did learn one thing... cuz I used to be real desperate for what I would get in return... I would give so much of myself, I would give all of myself & then look around, waiting & expecting to receive something in return.
ROSIE>>>>>>> i did this too...and my irritational *expectations* were *pre meditated resentments*........now???? if i want to give??? no expectations, NO cares about the *return* than i do.......if i don't really want to give??? than it a--depends on who it is......b...can i handle the possible non gratitude.........either way.....if i don't really want to do it??? i do not..................i felt the same way, expecting gratitude/ love/ affection for my "giving too much" now i stopped that....i take care of ME first.....give, but with NO expectations of return......great share, rosie