I will continue to do what I need to...  to be closer to fulfilling the Divine Plan, to becoming the person I know I am inside.

It is nice not to be critisized, to have the space & time to pray & sleep...  which is all I did today.  I have to learn to put myself first, it is difficult to remember, that I am the most important person in my life - I have to be, who else would care about me, if I don't.

I am far from seeing my divine inner beauty & having the confidence & blah, blah. 

But today I did do some work on letting my step-father go, forgiving him to HP, for every last thing, his g/f too - I cannot know what God has in store for me, but for right now, today...  I am a little bit closer to HP & I feel lighter for giving it up.

I don't want to block what good will come to me, in the way of growth, I want to have that fervor of unconditional love for me. 

This thinking of myself, is ALL NEW to me, it's a little rocky but I'm doing better & better.  I deserve to love myself. 

Kitty,

thanks for sharing about forgiveness.  It's a major stumbling block for me and my recovery I think.  I just can't come to forgive my A for past transgressions.  I hold those grudges and that keeps the focus off of me. 

With 3 kids and they are no picnic to raise in this environment, I have little time for me.  What I do have I should spend recovering, not obsessing over what my A has done to me.   Hearing how you are working on forgiveness is helping me at least be aware of my issues even if I'm not addressing that issue as well as I'd like yet.

Bob

(((kitty))) What seems unforgivable I try to hand over and not let it eat me up. There are those people in life that just are who they are and will continue to crap on you if you allow it. Those are the people I don't allow a third and fourth chance in to my life. Karma will bite them in butt eventually. I don't have to worry about it or give them any thought or any of my power. By doing so, I can be happy to be me :) Also, after 18 yrs of marriage, I have many bad memories due to my alcoholic ...the thing is, he doesn't think twice about them, I was the one carrying them for years. He probably doesn't even remember half of the things he has done and the humiliation he has caused. There's no need for me to hang on to that stuff either, no one else is. If he was going to feel guilty over it he would have by now..lol I don't want to carry his baggage for him. Love Christy

KITTY>>>>>>>>>> I have to learn to put myself first, it is difficult to remember, that I am the most important person in my life - I have to be, who else would care about me, if I don't.

 

ROSIE>>>>> i used to think i was "oh so selfish"  thinking that way,  but if i don't love me/ take care of me FIRST,  HOW can i bring ANYthing to the table for the universe??????    i mean if i don't take care of me,   who IS??????    U R so right........thanks for reminder...............hugs/ rosie

I am not sure how to take care of me..i do need work as i am living with an "A" and seems my spirt has been torn down...