I guess maybe I do in dealing with the whole situation involving my A. I'm not sure what or where I start but I do think I've done something that at least I feel better about - and that is having asked him to leave. I've asked him to leave before but it was with a "get out of here, you drunk! " attitude. This time it came from my gut if you know what I mean. I didn't lunge at him because,to me, there's no place for that anymore. I honestly simply did not want him under this roof. If he had said something on the order of "I need to get back into program" and then did it, I probably would have reconsidered or at least let him come over here without wondering "what's up with this guy?" I realize that I cannot make him do anything he doesn't want to do. But I don't want to live with it anymore and know that I don't have to. I guess I will have to be more clear and firm about it ( I thought I already was but...). Another thing - I have not been to a f2f meeting (I'm just figuring out what 'f2f' means) in years. When I did go, it was for about 2 years. I spent time trying to learn what it was all about and it was a relief to find out I was not alone. But as much as I went, being in a group like that just didn't hit on anything Maybe it was just the particular group I was in. They kept talking about how they work the program and that that's what I should do but none of them was happy about much. I thought at the time that I just couldn't figure out what the program was and that the program didn't seem to be helping anyone. We would sit in a circle and each person said what they were angry or upset about and that was about it. I just didn't get much out of it but I did like getting out the house to go something that I thought might help. I even had a sponsor who chaired the meetings and sounded good. She'd been in the group a long time. But during rough moments when I called her, she'd tell me to calm down and take a bath and that she didn't have much time to talk. That was it. I guess that's why I preferred private counseling sessions with an alcoholism counselor. But maybe I'll try f2f again. I'm missing something somewhere. jaja

Hello JaJa ,  so glad u are considering going to meetings again , perhaps earlier u just weren't ready. sometimes we go to meetings with a pre concieved idea of what we want to hear and when we dont we leave dissapointed.  Please try again for your sake your life has been affected by alcoholism and you too have to recover.  Good luck  Louise

Oh I think we all have work to do! I understand what you were describing about ftf meetings. I've been to five different meetings and there's only one that I feel like I really connect with. the people make up the flavor of the meeting. If you don't like one, try another. I also found that a therapist experienced with alcoholism offers a healthy balance to Ala-non. And there is something to be said about being ready to accept the program and your situation. Welcome back :) Whitie