Hello friends,

I know this is not the site for me to get support for my mom's alzheimers. Alanon skills do help but I realize that,,,she cannot go to treatment and get better, or work on her recovery and get better one day at a time:(  I am pretty much the only child they have that can help them even though I have my own health issues. Doing the 1 2 3 steps isn't going to do it for me. You see, I came here because others didn't know what it was like to have an alcoholic/drug addicted daughter. But, this is not the place to get support now since no one can understand how I feel either unless they have lived with this terrible disease where the brain slowly dies :( I have tried to find an online chatroom to get support and cannot find one. There is only one hospital group meeting here once a month. When I was searching just now I came across information that there are stages to alzhiemer and realized my mom is heading into stage 6 and there are only 7!! I don't know why she is progressing so fast! Then I read that Parkinsons also causes dementia/alzheimers and my dad has that! I cannot take this anymore! Is there anyone that knows of any online chatrooms for me or could find some. If I search anymore, I am going to be physically ill. I can call my local alzheimer place tomorrow and ask but if it is like when I called the alanon main office, they wouldn't recommend or tell me any chatrooms. I really need help with this and do not know who or where else to ask. I know I can deal with this one day at a time and need to focus on me but dammit! this is a tough one. Any help would be greatly appreciated. cdb

Hi CDB,

Sorry I can't help you from where I am.  Just because this site is for al-anon doesn't mean that we can't listen to your needs regarding your Mum and Dad. Maybe if you do get the info from the Alzheimers society you can post to us with the progression of the disease and unload when you need to.  Thinking of you.  Luv Leo x

I have never experienced alzheimers in my family , however my close friend is now having to deal with his father with this horrific disease, and others that I know. There is alot of information on the net, if you choose to research it, and books in the library. I know there are alot of support forums that you can talk with others in similiar situations on the net. As here in alanon we need not be alone anymore, find the alzheimers site that will help you. I do not mean to sound calous or make light of this disease however, as in step one in alanon we are powerless. take care of yourself................

Thank you for your replies. I just woke up at almost 4pm. I didn't want to get out of bed,,,,,that is how my depression goes. I do see my psychologist on Thursday. Ty leo for making me feel like I can post about this here. It takes such a long time to trust people enough to share like I do here. When I first found out my mom had alzheimers, at the same time my daughter was in treatment, I was shocked. Now that she lives closer to me, I have seen and felt how terrible this disease is. When I first learned of it, I rented some tapes from the State here for professionals and researced it (6 vhs tapes). I think I was numb then and hadn't been around my mom to see how much it had progressed. I was also smack in the middle of my daughter's situation. I have lived away from my parents for over 27 years and for me it is like I am getting to know them again, only this is not my mom anymore (here comes the tears). I use to cry so much when the disease hit my daughter and I didn't know who she was anymore. Here I learned to have hope and hope brought her back. Hope will not bring my mom back to me. I am blessed that some people did private me and are willing to talk to me and share with me. One mentioned about their loved one starting a fire in the house. I too saw my mom recently try to iron and not set the iron down in a very safe place. I have seen her walk away from the stove while something was on high heat. My dad is ill too and is with her but could be taking a short nap in his chair and something like this could happen. I, being their child that is helping them, has some big responsibilities ahead of me that are very emotional and hard ones too. I guess what I needed was to connect with some who understand and can share like some here have done. It is okay that I cannot research it now or even go to a new website. I have found the caring support I need right here for now. It does come back to taking care of me so I can take care of them. Thank you for letting me share here to those that I trust and respect. If the meetings are giving me panic attacks, I may need to do less of them. If I cannot reply to the posts here which I so love to do, I guess you all will understand. I must take care of me right now! Thanks again, cdb :)

Hi CDB,

Do they have anything where you are in the form of respite care?  My Uncle has Alzheimers and twice a week the society takes him out for the day to give my Aunty a break and also to get my Uncle out of the house.  Whatever decision you make regarding your parents will be for their safety and well being.  Remember everyone has their breaking point.  You are a wonderful daughter. Life has come full circle your Mum gave birth to you and cared for you and now you return it to her tenfold.  Try to find a little time for you.  Thinking of you with love.  Leo x