Hi guys need a bit of strength here yesterday my A came home from work asked for a lift to the shops and to me looked like he had been drinking.  I was on my way out and told him that I would drop him off but he needed to remember that I had told him I would not be running him around(he has no licence). He said he hadn't been drinking but don't worry about f..ing picking me up I will walk home.  Well in the old days I would have been worried about him getting angry with me but I calmly told him okay see you at home later.  He had a 20 minute walk home and then proceeded to cook dinner came out to me told me it was ready to eat I said thanks.  Then he said here is some money for a mobile phone if you want one I said thanks but I bought it today.  We had a nice night and just watched tv and ate icecream.  This morning my eldest son tells me that my A was drunk yesterday when he took people out on a boat he had just built for them, on board was my son, mutual friends and some little toddlers. He said he made an idiot of himself.  Yesterday I asked him if he had seen a close friend of his recently and he said I haven't seen him for over a week.  Today my son tells me he visited this friend drunk the other night and the friend was not impressed.  This is an older man who is like a father to him and has been very supportive.  I just went for a drive down to my husbands' workshop to tell him I have had enough.  I am sick and tired of living in a small town where all of his actions are talked about and come back to me.  If he is still drinking he cannot get his licence back when his time is up because he has to have a blood test.  I do not want to be looking at this as permanent down the track.  I feel that everything he did yesterday cooking etc sucked me in and I fell for the old trick that maybe he wasn't drunk when my instincts were right. Well I went to the workshop asked HP for assistance and when I got there he had company a friend who has just got his licence back.  I was all set to have my say and I couldn't do it.  My A asked if I could pick him up around 3.30pm I said if you have not been drinking I will be here but will not give you a lift home if you aren't sober.  Drove home from the shed crying.  Sick of crying it is not me at all.  The rollercoaster has just gone off the tracks again.  Need a bit of encouragement.  Thanks for being here.  Luv Leo x

(((Leo)))

There is nothing you can do about small town gossip. Even when you close your ears to it, is finds you.

Don't feel bad about getting sucked in. We are not supposed to be the booze police. Someone once told me to trust my own instincts. When I thought he had been drinking, I was probably right. It doesn't really matter though, they probably won't admitt it anyway.

You can't worry about his license. I know that is easier said than done. Especially if an income is involved. Stick to your guns, you are not a taxi and you didn't casue this.

It is okay to cry, sometimes we just need to release it. I hope you are feeling better soon.

                                                         Love Jeannie

(((((Leo))))))

Hang in there!!  Keep talking to your HP and when the time is right things will happen. 

We are here for you!  Keep us updated.

 

Linda

{{{{{{{{{{Leo}}}}}}}}}}  Figuring out where the boundaries should go & working ourselves up to set them can be a pain.  I've never lived in a small town, so can't comment.  I don't think I'd like everyone talking about me and/or my family, though. 

((((leo)))))  hang in there girlfriend........its hard to practice detachment when we are powerless,  but if we keep working our program,  we get to where we can....boundaries,  and/or detachment......U  R  ok....thats all that matters....bcuz U can only take care of U..........hugs/ rosie