hi  everyone i have posted before back in august and wouldn't you know it my pc crashed the next day. since then i have a new lease on life. i read so many of your postings and i have to tell you..roller coasters..highs..lows..there is so many out there going through what i go through everyday, that i no longer feel alone. you have written my story over and over again. so ive begun a few things on my own..i go out to eat and to movies with friends without my A, i am going to florida for a week with my daughter without my A, i am no longer going to sit here and watch him destroy our life. im going to live my life ,and whatever happens to him, it was his choice not mine. i sat here for 10 years and waited for him to quit drinking, and be my lover my companion. but its not going to happen. i use to cry and beg and criticise but i haven't  since august. he drinks, falls asleep i leave him where he lies once i even left him outside where he past out. ..but i promised myself not to nag. so life goes on ( i don't even think he's noticed that i don't nag anymore)...lol..thank you all so much for your postings they really do help....

{{hugs}} I can definately identify

Im always taking our son places without my A husband. This past Aug we had our first mother/son WDW vacation and it was for 2 wks. Next Aug I have another 2 wk vacation planned and if Dad comes fine, if not we'll go w/out him.

I have yet to take myself to the movies alone but do go shopping w/friends w/out my husband. A month ago I went to a friends Maine condo w/our my son or husband.

Its time to branch out on my own and live my life. (Son also became a teenager this year making it easier).

Good luck and have fun

Way to go, Michimoon!  It sounds like you are in a good place right now.  Reading something such as what you posted reminds me that there really is hope out there!