Hi All, well, I had a chance to put some Al-anon to the test over the holiday. My roomate and "A" with his incredible timing decided to go on a binge Wednesday evening and he didn't come home. We were supposed to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with his sister. I've only met her a few times so I called her and let her know that he was missing in action. She said I should come on down (to Galveston, just outside of Houston) anyway so I did. In the past I probably would have cancelled and been looking for him or calling friends to see if they had seen him but I thought about the words in chapter 11 of How Al-anon Works, "the choice to abandon our own plans for such a purpose is an act of fear, not an act of love." I went ahead with my plans and ended up having a really nice day with his sister. She appreciated the company and so did I and it turned out to be a great afternoon. The beach was beautiful too and the weather was perfect! Being able to go ahead and move through the discomfort just showed me that I can do things differently. It was hard at first and all the old thoughts were playing loud and clear but by just doing the right thing for myself and keeping my plans it really turned out ok. I hope I can keep on doing that going forward. I feel like this is all so new but I know it's the right thing to do. I'm not good at asking for help and sharing is not comfortable but I feel like I need to say this for myself and maybe someone else can relate to it also. Thanks to all for being there.
Maria123 said
Nov 25, 2005
(((((((((Welcome Rod)))))))))))),
Wow, that's fantastic !!!! You have progressed admirably. I commend you. Welcome to MIP.
Maria123
twopoodles said
Nov 25, 2005
Hey Rod,
Good for you! I am so happy for you, and that you had a good Thanksgiving.
It's hard taking care of ourselves. About a month ago I told my ex that I was disappointed in AB&C, not sure that was the best way to go about it, but I also told him I felt very uncomfortable around his using friends, and that I would prefer not to hang out with him when he was with them. UGH, our relationship went downhill fast and now he is out of the house-- but I feel better about me. Amazingly, I'm depressed and lonely and miss him and go back and forth, but I feel so much strength and validation knowing I'm not putting myself out in ways that I don't feel good about anymore.
((((ROD))))
Thank you for sharing, it really makes a difference and helps me out to read your experience. I wish all the best to you. Let me know if you need anything.
megan said
Nov 25, 2005
Hi Rod and welcome
Good growth and use of the program.
I found that when I started to take care of myself and my needs instead of being enmeshed with my alcoholic husband then I really started to grow.
I love the beach at Galveston, my sister lives in Houston and I have visited the galveston beach several times :) I am so happy that you had a nice time
-- Edited by megan at 20:07, 2005-11-25
kitty said
Nov 25, 2005
That is SO wonderful, you got out & had a wonderful day for yourself & look, u & your A's sis had a great day together.
It is a great feeling to rely on ourselves, you sound so very strong. I share a lot -- I'm 37 I mean back in the day, I talked about family problems cuz I hard time coping with "the way things were".
I personally feel so much relief when I post or go to the mtgs on-line here... this Board & site have been a life saver. You will find many caring & loving ppl here, welcome!
We are all here to get to recovery in the midst of this crazy & insidious disease.
(((((((((Welcome Rod)))))))))))),
Wow, that's fantastic !!!! You have progressed admirably. I commend you. Welcome to MIP.
Maria123
Hey Rod,
Good for you! I am so happy for you, and that you had a good Thanksgiving.
It's hard taking care of ourselves. About a month ago I told my ex that I was disappointed in AB&C, not sure that was the best way to go about it, but I also told him I felt very uncomfortable around his using friends, and that I would prefer not to hang out with him when he was with them. UGH, our relationship went downhill fast and now he is out of the house-- but I feel better about me. Amazingly, I'm depressed and lonely and miss him and go back and forth, but I feel so much strength and validation knowing I'm not putting myself out in ways that I don't feel good about anymore.
((((ROD))))
Thank you for sharing, it really makes a difference and helps me out to read your experience. I wish all the best to you. Let me know if you need anything.
Hi Rod and welcome
Good growth and use of the program.
I found that when I started to take care of myself and my needs instead of being enmeshed with my alcoholic husband then I really started to grow.
I love the beach at Galveston, my sister lives in Houston and I have visited the galveston beach several times :) I am so happy that you had a nice time
-- Edited by megan at 20:07, 2005-11-25
That is SO wonderful, you got out & had a wonderful day for yourself & look, u & your A's sis had a great day together.
It is a great feeling to rely on ourselves, you sound so very strong. I share a lot -- I'm 37 I mean back in the day, I talked about family problems cuz I hard time coping with "the way things were".
I personally feel so much relief when I post or go to the mtgs on-line here... this Board & site have been a life saver. You will find many caring & loving ppl here, welcome!
We are all here to get to recovery in the midst of this crazy & insidious disease.
love, -K