I told you he "moved" out last night and I assumed he was drinking again. But - surprise, surprise - he didn't. He is however still in a denial but I can see the fear and a sort of "I'll show YOU' behavior. He called this morning while I was out and left a message that he was calling to see if the kids were up yet. He said he had to go to Wal-mart to get some stuff (I know him well enough to know that this is way of letting me know that he is setting up his little motel room for his "move". And he likes to think he initiated the "move". I'm sure he's telling people he just had to get away from me but I betcha' he isn't telling them why!). Then he said he'd call the kids when he got back. But he called back 20 min. later but they weren't up (he knew they wouldn't be) so he said " I'll call later this afternoon just to talk to them and I'll be over to see them". But he called my son's cell phone 20 min. later to tell him that he'd be over later and that he loved him. 2 hours later when the kids & I went out shopping, he called the cell phone again to see where they were and my son told him! Then he called 2 hours later to ask my son to have dinner with him at the motel and spend the night! By then we were annoyed at hearing from him but I instinctively knew he'd call every so often. My son was quite annoyed and said he really didn't want to eat or sleep there but he would this one time. I just tell him to do what he wants to do and don't do anything he doesn't. It's his choice. Half an hour later my A shows up at the front door ready to get our son. I thought his behavior was funny because he's trying so hard to act like he is fine with the way things have gone but I know he is not fine. He acts the opposite of what he feels. He was all nice and everything but he made a point of saying to our son (hoping that I'd hear him) to hurry because dinner was going to take a couple of hours to fix. This was another way of letting me know he's fine. But, not quite sure that I heard it the first time, he had to repeat it to my son again as they went out the door. Louder. The man is trying hard to make a "home" out of a motel room but it's not a home and all he'd be doing is staring at the walls. Kinda like watching candles burn. Going to Wal-Mart for stuff he already has, calling the kids every other hour, going "grocery shopping" for dinner which will consist of nothing more than meat, having our son spend the night - all of that is to keep busy and fight off drinking again when alcohol is knocking on his door. But all of that is not getting help for a drinking problem and he knows it. He's just trying to find a way to keep busy. He could've gone to an AA meeting or some such meeting. But no - he went to Wal-mart. I swear he looked like he wanted to cry when he came over today. It's really kind of sad. But we were ever so cordial to each other which is driving him nuts, I'm sure. But me and my daughter got to eat our favorite Chinese food for dinner, she has full control of the TV remote while I try to make myself beautiful with a shampoo and hair conditioner, roller set - the whole 9 yards! LOL She and I are doing fine! I just hope my son can deal alright with his Dad for one night.........jaja
nikkilou said
Nov 20, 2005
Jaja,
My daughter would be signing WERE HAVING GIRLS NIGHT WERE HAVING GIRLS NIGHT. Enjoy every minute of it.
NIKKILOU
Dolphin123 said
Nov 20, 2005
JaJa,
Have fun with your daughter. Take care of you! Hope you have a good night.
I told you he "moved" out last night and I assumed he was drinking again. But - surprise, surprise - he didn't. He is however still in a denial but I can see the fear and a sort of "I'll show YOU' behavior. He called this morning while I was out and left a message that he was calling to see if the kids were up yet. He said he had to go to Wal-mart to get some stuff (I know him well enough to know that this is way of letting me know that he is setting up his little motel room for his "move". And he likes to think he initiated the "move". I'm sure he's telling people he just had to get away from me but I betcha' he isn't telling them why!). Then he said he'd call the kids when he got back. But he called back 20 min. later but they weren't up (he knew they wouldn't be) so he said " I'll call later this afternoon just to talk to them and I'll be over to see them". But he called my son's cell phone 20 min. later to tell him that he'd be over later and that he loved him. 2 hours later when the kids & I went out shopping, he called the cell phone again to see where they were and my son told him! Then he called 2 hours later to ask my son to have dinner with him at the motel and spend the night! By then we were annoyed at hearing from him but I instinctively knew he'd call every so often. My son was quite annoyed and said he really didn't want to eat or sleep there but he would this one time. I just tell him to do what he wants to do and don't do anything he doesn't. It's his choice. Half an hour later my A shows up at the front door ready to get our son. I thought his behavior was funny because he's trying so hard to act like he is fine with the way things have gone but I know he is not fine. He acts the opposite of what he feels. He was all nice and everything but he made a point of saying to our son (hoping that I'd hear him) to hurry because dinner was going to take a couple of hours to fix. This was another way of letting me know he's fine. But, not quite sure that I heard it the first time, he had to repeat it to my son again as they went out the door. Louder. The man is trying hard to make a "home" out of a motel room but it's not a home and all he'd be doing is staring at the walls. Kinda like watching candles burn. Going to Wal-Mart for stuff he already has, calling the kids every other hour, going "grocery shopping" for dinner which will consist of nothing more than meat, having our son spend the night - all of that is to keep busy and fight off drinking again when alcohol is knocking on his door. But all of that is not getting help for a drinking problem and he knows it. He's just trying to find a way to keep busy. He could've gone to an AA meeting or some such meeting. But no - he went to Wal-mart. I swear he looked like he wanted to cry when he came over today. It's really kind of sad. But we were ever so cordial to each other which is driving him nuts, I'm sure. But me and my daughter got to eat our favorite Chinese food for dinner, she has full control of the TV remote while I try to make myself beautiful with a shampoo and hair conditioner, roller set - the whole 9 yards! LOL She and I are doing fine! I just hope my son can deal alright with his Dad for one night.........jaja
Jaja,
My daughter would be signing WERE HAVING GIRLS NIGHT WERE HAVING GIRLS NIGHT. Enjoy every minute of it.
NIKKILOU
JaJa,
Have fun with your daughter. Take care of you! Hope you have a good night.
Much Love,