This has been a learning experience. God is unceasing in fulfilling the Will Of the The Divine Plan. It doesn't surprise me anymore when I see "the program" overlapping in other areas of our life in recovery.
Continually learning the "same lessons over again" I suppose - I am not really them then if I have to keep going over & over.
Trying not to "what if" myself to death, trying to "let go". Funny how a few nights ago, 'grief & loss' was one of our topics. I felt like I was grieving the loss of the family I had thought I had, the (step) father I thought I knew. I must have not been "getting it" - so God decided to lure Hikari out with the cool weather.
I've chosen to see this as an opportunity for spiritual growth, to allow my faith to grow & possibly for me to regain hope in humanity.
It has been hard to see where to draw the line between, being compulsive & doing nothing. Maybe this is a lesson in learning what to do, what if I am supposed to be out there looking. What if I am supposed to be having faith & waiting patiently.
Very confusing & hard to know what to do.
Again, the program is mirroring life - confused to say the least, I wish I knew what to do. Trying to be a "good solider, servant".
just dunno, back to praying again, as the "chase" has distracted me a bit. Been stressed & sleepless for days, just trying to "rest", not kick myself, have faith.
love u guys, what would I do without "my home" (this program) -- done. -K
rosie light shines said
Nov 20, 2005
hey kitty, yeah, i know what u mean about compulsive/doing nothing.....i tend to go to extremes...black or white, i am progessing, but i still see it....i let my "inner" guide me...if i start feeling, "scrambling....frantic" its time to STOP.....BREATHE......ALLOW the feelings, and then WAIT for answer......its hard, but it beats driving myself nuts over things i have NO power over............hope the kitty comes back...i am so sorry for your having to go through this...my animals are my children so i SO relate to your pain......hugs/ rosie
kissers said
Nov 20, 2005
Hi Kitty!
I know exactly what you are saying. I realized for me that when I didn't know what to do, I would pick a compulsion. I take care of myself now by meditation, walking, listening to music, writing, reading, finding someone humor, learning something new. When I do these things and put my worries and needs in my God bag, I get my answer. I see more clearly everyday by working the program. It's awesome and I love it more and more.
bobump said
Nov 20, 2005
The title reminds me of an obscure song Mojo Nixon's Elvis is Everywhere. LOL
I find as I gain more experience with program, being new, I do alot of back and forth trying to figure out the balance.
Bob
Dolphin123 said
Nov 20, 2005
Kitty,
I to see this program everywhere. Sometimes when I am really serene, I think I freak people out, lol. They are running aroung like chickens with thier heads cut off, and I am just thinking Let it Go. LoL, sometimes I just laugh at how strange they all think I am.
Sorry you are having a rough time today. I hope coming here made you feel a little better.
Hello All,
This has been a learning experience. God is unceasing in fulfilling the Will Of the The Divine Plan. It doesn't surprise me anymore when I see "the program" overlapping in other areas of our life in recovery.
Continually learning the "same lessons over again" I suppose - I am not really them then if I have to keep going over & over.
Trying not to "what if" myself to death, trying to "let go". Funny how a few nights ago, 'grief & loss' was one of our topics. I felt like I was grieving the loss of the family I had thought I had, the (step) father I thought I knew. I must have not been "getting it" - so God decided to lure Hikari out with the cool weather.
I've chosen to see this as an opportunity for spiritual growth, to allow my faith to grow & possibly for me to regain hope in humanity.
It has been hard to see where to draw the line between, being compulsive & doing nothing. Maybe this is a lesson in learning what to do, what if I am supposed to be out there looking. What if I am supposed to be having faith & waiting patiently.
Very confusing & hard to know what to do.
Again, the program is mirroring life - confused to say the least, I wish I knew what to do. Trying to be a "good solider, servant".
just dunno, back to praying again, as the "chase" has distracted me a bit. Been stressed & sleepless for days, just trying to "rest", not kick myself, have faith.
love u guys, what would I do without "my home" (this program) -- done. -K
Hi Kitty!
I know exactly what you are saying. I realized for me that when I didn't know what to do, I would pick a compulsion. I take care of myself now by meditation, walking, listening to music, writing, reading, finding someone humor, learning something new. When I do these things and put my worries and needs in my God bag, I get my answer. I see more clearly everyday by working the program. It's awesome and I love it more and more.
The title reminds me of an obscure song Mojo Nixon's Elvis is Everywhere. LOL
I find as I gain more experience with program, being new, I do alot of back and forth trying to figure out the balance.
Bob
Kitty,
I to see this program everywhere. Sometimes when I am really serene, I think I freak people out, lol. They are running aroung like chickens with thier heads cut off, and I am just thinking Let it Go. LoL, sometimes I just laugh at how strange they all think I am.
Sorry you are having a rough time today. I hope coming here made you feel a little better.
Much Love,