When I first meet my husband 6 yrs ago I did everything with him. I really didn't go any where didn't have any girlfriends at all. Only really had too guy friends and that was really it. Then this year I went to an Alanon online meeting and started to chat with my now best friend and we were seeing that we were going throug the same stuff and then we end up getting together. On the other way i made more friend is a work. I started to go out with these girls and go dancing and that is how I made more girlfriends like that. One of my girlfriends now is from work and we went out walking together. So I am getting stronger because I am meeting and talking to more people on line. I have meet a nice person in the most current days that is very nice an helpful.
sg said
Nov 15, 2005
I can so relate! I use to do everything w/my husband (when he was sober) years ago.
Then when he stopped doing things w/me I use to sit around and feel sorry for myself and get irritated at him.
Awhile ago I decided enough was enough and I was going to get out and start meeting people and enjoying life. In the past few months I have met more friends in our lil' town and have enjoyed myself so much. Of course, my A. doesn't seem happy that I am getting out and living life, but I've noticed that it has been a dose of good medicine that I needed.
I worked the Program so hard and what amazed me is one day when I was told that it is possible to work it too hard and try to force solutions. In one of the readings in the book (sorry can't remember which) it talks about planting a seed but tugging on the seed doesn't make it grow any faster. I tugged for a long time only to reach exhaustion and disappointment.
I got a voicemail one day from a friend in the program who told me my "assignment" was to have fun that weekend. To get out and about w/people and laugh. That was THE best and somewhat difficult thing to do.
Now I find myself taking one night on the weekend to be w/friends. To laugh, to talk, sometimes going out w/a crowd, sometimes being w/just a few. I feel rejuvinated, needed, appreciated. I feel a sense of belonging and no longer does my life revolve around my A and his ism. My life revolves around me and my HP.
Good for you getting out and making friends. Keep up the GREAT work!
rosie light shines said
Nov 15, 2005
hey nycbt..........good for U.....taking care of U........i am glad u r making friends...it helps......rosie
Kim said
Nov 15, 2005
I can relate.
Before me and my A separated, I started doing alot of things on my own. He rarely watned to things other than sit around and watch sports when he wasn't working. I love the summer and the sun...he's a vampire...well ,I went about my business. Went to parties, went to the pool. I was sad and sometimes made comments but I wasn;t about to sit around with him. When we first met we went out all the time. Now that I am alone I go out a little less frequently. But what is missing is the guilt. That I have to get home. That people will ask questions where my A is. The only anxiety I stil lfeel sometimes is with my ffamily but even that is starting to change. Good for you that you are getting out there! I too have made good friends at work and we go out for a monthly girls night. WE do shopping and stuff like that. Doesn't it feel great? Again good work and keep going!
When I first meet my husband 6 yrs ago I did everything with him. I really didn't go any where didn't have any girlfriends at all. Only really had too guy friends and that was really it. Then this year I went to an Alanon online meeting and started to chat with my now best friend and we were seeing that we were going throug the same stuff and then we end up getting together. On the other way i made more friend is a work. I started to go out with these girls and go dancing and that is how I made more girlfriends like that. One of my girlfriends now is from work and we went out walking together. So I am getting stronger because I am meeting and talking to more people on line. I have meet a nice person in the most current days that is very nice an helpful.
I can relate.
Before me and my A separated, I started doing alot of things on my own. He rarely watned to things other than sit around and watch sports when he wasn't working. I love the summer and the sun...he's a vampire...well ,I went about my business. Went to parties, went to the pool. I was sad and sometimes made comments but I wasn;t about to sit around with him. When we first met we went out all the time. Now that I am alone I go out a little less frequently. But what is missing is the guilt. That I have to get home. That people will ask questions where my A is. The only anxiety I stil lfeel sometimes is with my ffamily but even that is starting to change. Good for you that you are getting out there! I too have made good friends at work and we go out for a monthly girls night. WE do shopping and stuff like that. Doesn't it feel great? Again good work and keep going!