This is hard for me,to admit I am failing and that this relationship that I tried to save is not good for me or him. My boyfriend is an alcoholic. I guess I learned this behavior because my mother is also an alcoholic and my father tries to control her, me and everyone else he knows. He has joined the program and has recommended it to me. This relationship is barely two years old and I have lost one job already because I let his behavior effect me. I called into my new job today and guess what, I blamed him. I guess he is not the only manipulator and no matter what I go through or how much I cry, I get nothing but apathy from him. I guess it's silly to think that an alcoholic is going to be a great emotional support, but I wanted some compassion. He is not the only one who is sick, I have kicked him out many times, gave him guilt trips, puched him once and tried to control his every move. I am tired of living this way and I have told him that it would be best if he found a place of his own eventually. I am afraid to be alone and I am not sure why I think I can't make it. I have a joband now that I am looking to Al-anon I jst might save it insead of making the same mistakes. I am also riddled with panic attacks and I used to be suicidal.I am on meds, but my doctor said that being around my boyfriend would negate the effects of any therapy or medicine. I guess he was right. I am lost and I feel alone. My friends won't come around and they don't want to listen to my problems with HIM anymore. I feel like I have nobody and I just need to know that I am not alone...

Evilynn,

Welcome to the board! You are not alone. The people on this board are here for you, including me. My mom is an alcoholic and I'm 18. I'm single but I'm willing to listen and be here for you.

 

Lanchas

Thank you so much.It was really hard for me this weekend because my mother was drinking and kept calling me and my a was drinking and was a real jerk. I picked him up at work and he was hugging our old roomate who molested me. That broke my heart, this whole weekend broke my heart. To top it off, my friends don't want to hear about it, so your being here means a lot to me. I printed out a list of meetings for Friday when I am off and I intend to go. I am really scared of finding out that this isn't going to work so I kept looking the other way when it came to him, but I can no longer do it. I am either too controlling or too relaxed about it.

This message board is called "Miracles in Progress..." that's what alanon can do for you.  I struggle everyday, but when I stay connected in alanon and strive for conscious contact with my Higher Power, I at least, don't feel alone.  I know that the people here and at meetings understand my craziness.  Stick around, ask questions, listen, and know you deserve to be happy.

Hi evelynn, and welcome to Alanon. This program saved my marraige, my sanity, and has given me many tools to help me be successful in my carreer and many other choices that we have to make day by day. Alanon gives us the 12 Steps. By the sound of your emotional, honest post, i would say that you have conquered step one (Admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable). The best way to get better is to keep going. Step two is Came to beleive that a Power Greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity... Now all you have to do is come to beleive that there is something greater than you that can help you come back to the real world. Weather it be God, some other spiritual entity, nature, a whole being greater than you, or what some people use is G -ood O -rderly D -irection When you feel you have conquered this step, keep going.... Keep coming back, and post your little heart out! With love; Aron

Evilynn,

I'm new to Alanon was well.  Well I did do a brief stint years ago.  In a short time it made  aword of difference, but things got a little better and there were many excuses not to get to meetings. 

Well things got worse, I asked my HP for guidance and look where he brings me again?

The good news is that by coming here, you'll always have people to listen to you.  Even better news is that you'll learn tools to get better yourself.  The best news is that you have the opportunity here to feel an unconditional love unlike any other you may have experienced, both with online meetings and face to face meetings as well.

Keep coming back.  We are glad your here ! 

Bob

 

-- Edited by bobump at 22:21, 2005-11-14

-- Edited by bobump at 22:22, 2005-11-14

Welcome!!!!

You will find hope, friendship, listening ears, shoulders to cry on, experience of others, and miracles here.

Hugs Mary

Hi Evelyn and welcome.

As you have already heard, you are not alone.

All of us have been affected by alcoholism. Is has sometimes made us crazier than the alcoholic.

You've seen what your father has done, and seen that it doesn't work. We didn't cause their drinking, we can't cure it and we can't control it. We can however control our own actions and reactions.

Only you can decide what you want to do as far as your boyfriend. You can learn to depend on yourself and you can learn that you can make it alone, if you choose to. You are stronger than you could ever imagine.

You can't make someone else do anything, but you can set up boundaries of what you will accept for you, and stick to them. Don't make threats, unless you mean to follow through. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Alanon has saved my sanity, all too many times. Here you will find people who understand what you are going through and can give you friendship, support and encouragement. You can learn to start being happy, no matter what your boyfriend or Mother do.

You will learn to take care of yourself, because you are worth it.

Alanon does work if you work it.

Come back often to read, post or just vent. If you can get to a face to face meeting near your home, real hugs are wonderful, and a sponsor is a lifesaver.

Start by being kind to yourslef.

                                           Love Jeannie

Welcome to the board.   Here you are not alone.  share and vent.  We have all been there before or are going though it now.  Alanon will help you find the peace you need.

Welcome you are with friends now

NIKKILOU

Hi Welcome to the family here. It is hard to deal with an active alcholic. COme here and post you will see alot of growth in your self. My father is also an alchohic but thank god ness he is not drinking. Only you can make the desicion whether to stay or leave your boyfriend. What ever your choice people will stand here an help you out. Don't forget to check message on the board an you will find alot of people have some of the same problems. Go to the cahtroom and meet people.

Hi Evilynn and big hugs to you from Australia.  We are all still learning everyday of our life is a new experience. I hope I can help you if you ever need it.  Luv Leo x