(c: Your posts meant a lot to me. All of you had so many things great to say. Made me feel so much better. One of ya reminded me of the C2C book. I always kept mine close and becuz of you I gotta find it!! My poor A. This morn I asked him what got him going? He told me and was very nice. It is something he wanted confidential but did not tell ME. Well blabbermouth, open, earthmom me was talking to my almost daugher in law about it and he heard me. Anyway on top of everything else last night, after we talked, I went outside to feed, he had left the front gate open!! I had two llamas and a huge white horse out. I rang my dinner triangle thingy and Chief came running... of course, this horse's nic is Munch.I am not kidding, before you can get the feed sacks to the feed area from the pickup, he has already grabbed a bag, ripped it and is sharing it with Estersue my farm pig girl. Partners in crime. i grabbed my leads and a bucket of grain, by the time i got to the road the sheriff was there. sigh. he is very nice and took me up to where my wandering fur balls were. I had to herd them back a mile. The sheriff decided to help me. Well if you know anything about llamas, they protect their owners.. yep you got it. LLamayami started to go check him out, the opposite way. I kept reassuring llamayami, I told the sheriff what was going on so he went back to his car. Llamayami and Sunny then just walked the next half mile back home with me on the side of a green mountain with fir and pine trees. Was really nice. so.....anyway I feel fine and feel so sorry for the A as he feels bad. It was a dry durnk thing. He said he hates alcoholism and is so tired of it. He has not drank for weeks now. But as we know, using is just a symptom. What i find very cool is i don't feel any illwill towards him. I got mad and got over it. He accepted that. We are ok again. See before I would have told him to get out. period and he would have. But becuz I know it is a disease, not his fault, and becuz he opens up and tells me the real problem, we can keep going. One thing for us, living with alcoholism, is we have lightened up a lot. I have learned that when I am upset it will spill over to be upset with him. I ask myself, "what is really bothering me?" It is never anything he has done. never. So without the alanon skills, and learning to think first, we would have such a harder time. I am learning how it all fits together, this alanon miracle and being able to live and love my A and him love and live with me. We would have to adjust with any disease.So what difference is it that it is Aism? I think about all the wonderful things he does do around here. Making a cool pig house for two handicapped pot bellied pigs. Saving a tiny sparrow who was stuck in dusty spider web in the barn, and now building the cats a room all their own are only a tiny piece of how nice it is to have him here. This man may be A but he does dishes!! However the first time he used the washer he flooded the house so I told him NOT TO TOUCH MY WASHER! (c: its ok to find your own normal. For us it is separate bedrooms, becuz we both need our own space. But we sit together in a double recliner, go shopping to gether, work on stuff together. I always said we lived well together. But not knowing how to live with his disease would mess things up. I understand the Miracles In Progress now. It is more than surrendering to hp and things falling into place when ya do the footwork. It is a constant miracle of learning and goofing up and getting back up and doing it better. anyway thank you for supporting me. love,debilyn

Your post made me grin.  My A and I were seperated in October....he is trying hard to share things with me, he is working so hard on his stuff and I am working so hard on my stuff, I am content with how we are now....I didn't like the craziness we were living for the past 3 or 4 years, it is our "normal"  I have stopped listening to other's opionions of how my life with my A should be.  I enjoy the special times my A and I have. Like we just hung a bunch of picture frames with family pics....filled the whole wall of the dinning room, most people would think "so what" to me it was a special time....Enjoy your normal, I enjoy mine.

Hugs Mary

Debilyn, I can just see you walking down the road with 2 llamas! I'm smiling ear to ear. It also made me jealous that you can build a room just for you cats. What is the definition of "normal?" No such thing! If I was "normal" according to society, I'd be boring! Who wants that? You know how they say "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder?" Well so is normalcy. So if you want to walk down the road with an entire Noah's ark behind you, you go girl! Mary if you want to plaster the entire side of your house with family pictures, or even empty picture frames - go for it! Live your life for you and no one else. The fact that we choose to live with an A, active or not seems perfectly "normal" to me. Enjoy the day. Live strong, Karilynn

(((Debilyn))) Don't ya just love it when it all works out and realize.... *That too did pass* It always gives me hope for my next drama..lol oh yeah, *smoinks* backatchya Love, Christy

-- Edited by Christy at 17:07, 2005-11-12

 

Thanks debilyn for the wonderful post.  Reminds me of how important the little memories in life are. Doesn't always have to be big events in your life. Thanks debilyn, your friend SenoraBob.