I came home from shopping today and was immediately filled with sadness. Christmas shopping today was a little hard at times b/c I was used to shopping for my family and now it is just limited to a few people (better for my pocketbook, not my psyche)...I had no plans this evening and I wanted to call my A. I didn't.  Not many friends to speak of and none that are single. I called a g/f of mine from work to see if she wanted to go to a movie or something. She declined but said tomorrow would be good for her. Instead of feeling rejected, I felt good that although tonight I'm home alone tommorw will be full. Another small victory! I will rest tonight as I am just getting over being sick and tomorrow I will enjoy. 

I hear you on that - I am filled with sadness today as well.  But I am babysitting tonight - the kids are great but I want to burst into tears

I hear you too!  My A husband just left after getting angry and punching our bedroom wall.  I've locked the door because I have no idea if he is even coming home.  I sit hear with my two dogs just really feeling sad.

You give me a good idea!  Maybe I'll try and call a friend to do something tomorrow! 

This weekend is mine with the kids, so I made no plans and guess what? They are both sleeping over friends' houses tonight. My sponsor is in NC this weekend so I can't get together with him. Got home from work around 7:00 and was on the phone with a friend for a while. Was tempted to call my ex, but won't do that! Guess I'll just spend some quiet time alone and read, pray and get to bed early tonight.

At least I don't feel the need to drink myself to sleep anymore.

Got through it just fine, this night.  I had showered and got started watching a movie...thinking about being alone...a little lonely but accepting it and relaxing with it. A n old friend called a little while later and we spent the night catching up. It was nice and now I'm tired and heading for bed....It seems as if when I'm anxious for something to happen, someone to call, etc...nothing happens. When I relax and start to enjoy lif, well, things even small ones come my way....that's something I need to keep in mind...

Kim, Suggestion for you if you're feeling a bit sad about not having to do as much Christmas shopping. If you can afford it, why not "adopt" a family at a church and Chirtsmas shop for them? Or buy a coat or donate to a local charity? None of this has to be an expensive venture. But sometimes giving back in whether in time or money can be very rewarding. It also helps refocus the mind and heart. This time of year there are so many people in need. Thanksgiving Day my A and I have decided that instead of making dinner here, we are going to an event sponsored by AA. But we are not going there for dinner, we are going there to help. Check your local volunteer organizations. It's also a great way of meeting new people. Who knows, you might just find a new friend. Live strong, Karilynn

((((((Kim)))))))))),

You were not alone. You had us, and you had HP.

I know how hard it can be to be alone and missing the "A".

Keep coming back.

Much Love,