Ok ...like right now my soab gramma said I have to get off the pc...OMG I go on to express my feeling instead of lashing my anger out on myself..because I am self injuring at times...So this is definetely an outlet I use to cope with my living conditions,and depression(which is anger turned inward)

I cannot wait till I am out of the house..i plan to move to FLorida and start a new llife there,and just try to be happy once again...It has been so long since my world had sunshine...

I just get so sick and tired of her telling me things like this...I could be doing a lot worse things than being online,but I choose not to because I don't want to hurt them..

Then my gma goes and my aunts compare me to my mom..Its like they think because she screwed up that I will as well..

If i was gonna screw up I would have already done it..They need to understand what I went through in the past,and what I am going through now,but they won't...

They are just too old fashioned...no offense...but they make me want to leave california and never return...I hate that I am saying this,but this is really how I feel

I am not a bad kid at all...I try to be good...My gma still treats me like im 5 or something..she tries to control me,and I can't stand order..or manipulating people because that was how my dad was,and it just brings up bad memories for me..

My gma need to let go,and stop trying to fix her mistakes as a mother thro me..bc I am not her child,and never will be

If she loves me she needs to let me go....I need to get out of this cacun,and finally see the light and spread my beautiful wings and fly

I love her,but I need to live my life...She thinks because her 2 oldest daughters stayed till they were 30..that I will do the same...NO WAY>>> not ever...

 

Lauren~

I wish I could hug you, I wish I could help.  Hopefully, we will talk again soon, sry u got booted off of the 'puter.

It is very kind & considerate of you to be protecting them, even though they are driving u crazy.

Love, -K

ty kitty...

I love u~hugs

 

Lauren~

You'll be all right Lauren. You have difficult circumstances, and your age is a difficult time of life. Your grandparents mean well, and I know that you know that. No, it is obvious you are not a bad girl. Don't be in too much of a hurry to go out on your own. It is a big, lonely world out there, and it can eat you up in a hurry. Take your time, finish your school, make a plan for your future, then go!! Fly away like a little bird!!! Wishing you well, Diva

glad you are turning anger outward and not towards yourself!! Keep growing Lauren, you'll make it!!

josey

(((((((((((((Lauren)))))))))))))))),

Hugs for you and just know that I love you.

love Maria

P.S.  Is it at all possible for you to get to an Al Anon meeting where you can be with people who will love, listen, and understand??? 

Hi Lauren,

I don't have al-anon where I live but I was wondering would your Grandma go to a meeting with you if you asked her?  It might help her to understand your issues and some she has herself in relationships with your Mum.  Maybe she feels she let your Mum down but wants to be there for you instead.  Luv Leo xx

(((((((((((Lauren))))))))))) Hang in there sweetie... Love ya and wow i can sure relate to your post.... Sounds like my life at your age only with my parents not my gradparents.... So sorry you are going through this my heart goes out to you !! Just try and keep the focus on you sweetie... Your doing good one day at a time... It is also wonderful that you are venting outwards instead of at yourself.... Keep up the good work !!! Love ya bubbles123

Maybe you could just keep trying to "talk" to your grandma...I know it's hard, sometimes adults are stuck on what we think is right, we don't stop and listen.  Maybe you could write a poem, since your so good at poetry.  Write to your grandma, maybe she will stop and listen to you.....Hang in there, keep expressing yourself with words.

Hugs Mary

hey lauren,  i wonder if you TOLD your gramma what the  sharing/ alanon board is doing for you....i mean just came right out and TOLD her!!!!! 

i agree that finishing your education is so important,  and hopefully some college?????

anyone who has not been *in our shoes*  is not going to understand.....is your gramma   his mom,  or your mom's mom?????   if she is his mom, she may not be readily receptive to what her son has done...but i would just take care of me......get my schooling....leave when its RIGHT for ME!!!!  and as someone said here on your threat,  it is a pretty lonly world and it can eat you up pretty quickly if you are not prepared enough!!!!!

i totally understand your frustration...i was a hibitual runaway ajnd i did get into homes , when i ran away, that were good,  luckily for me, i had people who really loved me,  *take me in*....but i am glad i finished school and got some college!!!! 

take care and keep venting , writing your poetry ,  that is definitely going to help you not hurt you.......i used to  curse myself,  hit myself in the head, pull my hair,   but since i got into recovery i have NO desire to hurt me anymore......so you keep doing what u r doing........hugs/ rosie