I am soo kinda happy because I have been going to my moms house for the past three days..I haven't seen her since summer time.

I refused to see her because she chose to drink,and I just did not want to be a part of it..

The first two days i was kinda like w/e im gonna c my mom..today we actually had a good time despite her drinking.I tried to ignore it..I really just pray for her..because as much as my mom caused me pain all the years she left me..I still love her.

I want to punish her soo much, but thats not me..I know she is living in guilt every single day because she drinks...I just want her to know that i am not mad at  her for the past,and she can change the future by getting sober..

I was punishing myself by depriving myself from her love..well soo called love..to get back at her..But in the end I was hurting me,and only me

I went to my moms for the third time today,and I kinda liked it..even tho she didn't change,but before i would automatically have a cow to the sight of alcohol,now I learn to live with it...

 

Lauren~

 

Thats great (((Lauren)))

One of the great gifts of the program for me has been the growing ability to seperate the person from the disease.  Being able to enjoy a good time with someone when the opportunity presents itself even when they are still drinking...and not spend the whole time worrying about the alchohol is a gift!  So glad for you, that you had a good time with your mom!

Yours in Recovery,

David

 

This is good news Lauren, and I can see a marked difference in you since you first started posting here. Your attitude with your mom today was good. Keep it up girl!! You'll be just fine. With best wishes for your future, Diva

That is so wonderful Lauren & way to detach with love.  Besides we do only get one mother, I'm happy for you too.  Your are correct (once again) u were depriving yourself & hurting yourself...  way to over come it.

 

I'm still a lil upset about ur counselor "being mad at you for choosing al-anon"  over alateen.  You have had to deal with some pretty extreme adult issues in your past (you're not the average bear) -- I get so irritated by dr's asking 4 questions & then "telling you what u should do".

A good therapist asks questions, listens & allows you to have realisations on your own.  They are merely guides to keep you on track.

with great love, ur friend in recovery, -Kitty light fun

wow (((((((((((lauren)))))) that is great you were able to to deattch with love with your mom! I am still trying to learn that with my A father and Asister!! Thank you for your post and for sharing what you did.. It helped me alot to see that by punishing my dad for all the pain he as caused me with his drinking that i am only hurting myself by advoiding being apart of his life and truely loving him... Wow thanks lauren!!!!! Love ya Bubbles123