Ok, so my 'rents made a truce...  the A promised to disclose where & when he was going, to be discreet - she told him to do wtvr he wanted.

Last night he was still saying, promising everything, not be lying or drinking. But my mom has friends that are his associates that have already sd otherwise, so she knew good & well he's been lying, he sd, "I will always drink & fly (meaning girls), this is who & what I am"  to a bunch of his friends that passed the info on to my mom 2 or 3 days ago.

This morning he drove to Dallas & cd my mom & sd he is off to see his mistress.

What a loser, I can't even believe he told her...   man am I seeing red right now!  I gave him a perfect, $50 h/c as always, I wish I had just shaved his hair off - I never want to cut his hair again nor do I ever want to see him again.  I know I feel like I hate him cuz I have a lot of love for him but boy, do I feel like I hate him right now!

It's a good thing he is out of town

God help me. 

((((((((((((Kitty)))))))))),

Sending you lots of love, because I have no idea what else to say.

Sorry you are going through all this. I think I would feel the same if I were in your shoes.

Much Love,

Hi It is good for you that he is out of town.  It is a shame that he can't just have one girl. I hate one men are like that. They think they are guys gift to women. Well there not.

  oh megan, I know you're having a hard day too cyber hugs  (((((((((((((((megan)))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((Kitty)))))))))))))))))))))

I would be feeling the same way.  I hate it when my father disrespects my mother in even the simplest things.  I feel that my mom deserves respect, and get very protective about her.

I have learned tho, that my mom  has choices.  I know she doesn't like the way she gets treated from my dad sometimes, but she chooses to remain with him.

It is okay to feel angry.  It IS your mom.  However, it sounds like things that are out of your control are dominating your day.

May God grant you the SERENITY to accept the things you can not change,

The COURAGE to change the things you can,

And the WISDOM to know the difference.

Aron

> big deep out breaths, just posting helped it get out of my heart....

But seriously, I do not want to see him!  I think as long as I don't see him, I will be able to maintain my own serenity.

Thanks everybody & believe me, choices continue to be made, seeds are being planted...  the man is just giving rope.  I suppose beyond prayers, the fool needs to be pitied. 

(((((((((((((((((((((kitty)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) don't be so hard on your self and keep the focus on your self.... I am so sorry he is treating you like this and you are going through this awful mess my heart goes out to you!!! Your in my prayers for comfort and peace... You deserve to be happy!!! Love ya ((((((kitty))))) bubbles123

I was in a relationship like this myself not so long ago. My Sponsor told me to keep reading a book called, "What Smart Women Know" along with reading Alanon literature and working my 12 steps. My self-esteem improved and I no longer felt I needed to be punished. I know I deserve to be loved in a healthy way and there are men who are not able to do this, but when I am ready my HP/God will send him my way. I work on myself now and not anybody else. Love yourself FIRST. You are reflecting what he feels about himself. He hates himself and he will take you down with him until you start taking care of you. Take all that anger and do something nice for yourself(manicure, pedicure, walk, make a new friend, workout). Your anger is not going to change him...it's only going to hurt you(mentally, physically, emotionally). Is he really worth destroying yourself over? Also, try reading "He's just not that into you". It works for me everytime I get angry or sad...changes my perspective and attitude instantly.

Hi Kitty,

sorry to hear that you are going through all this...Hugs and prayers to you! Keep the focus on you girl...enjoy your evening..

Diane

Hi Kitty,

Famous last words of the A, my A too, "this is who and what I am". As if this excuses poor behavior. I too cut my husband's hair for 30 years or more and he left in June. It is just not about us but about the disease!

Take care of yourself. You have a lot of support here.

Nancy

(((kitty))))  bless Ur  heart!!!!   i know how you feel , my friend,  it sucks!!!  sometime i get sick of just being with  good ole me,  but what the hell,  i am nice to me,  and me/ hp is all i got, really,  so i do my best......

i have had people say  "oh you shouldn't hate  so and so,  it isn't good"   but if i FEEL it, i am gonna allow my feelings,    THAN i do my self talk, and tell me that   "lets fill my heart up with love for me,  rather than hate for  whom ever it is i am hating"

hope this made sense, its bedtime..............love n hugs/ rosie