can you actually be working the steps w/out formally realizing youre doing so?
Barbara said
Nov 9, 2005
Seems alot of my thinking has been step related even though Im not "officially" working the steps. Is it actually a mix? different times doing different steps?
bubbles1990 said
Nov 9, 2005
Yes barbara you can do the steps with out even realizing you are "officially doing them... I know it has happened to me I think it was cool! Yes you can mix the steps too i have done that.... :) What ever works for you i have even done the steps in order too!!! :) Keeping the focus on me and having a healthly recovery is what is importain to me whether i do the steps upside down backwards or mixed up and or forward 123 and so on..... I hope that help you !!
((((((((((barbara)))))))) hugs
love bubbles123
rosie light shines said
Nov 9, 2005
yes barbara you can.......the first three are the *give up steps* the 2nd 3 are the *own up steps* 3rd 3 are the *clean up* and last 3 arethe *grow up* so yeah, you can work them and be *out of the box* too......being honest, knowing when to give up/ give to god??? is working around the first three.........being self honest, knowing / accepting being honest about our liabilities and assets are the 2nd 3.........doing what is right by our neighbor when we do harm is the 3rd. set......and continuing in a spiritual/ reaching out wiht love/ setting good example and daily soul searching are the last 3....hope this helped/ rosie
Emmie11 said
Nov 9, 2005
Barbara,
It works if you work it, but it soaks in even if you are not specifically working it!
When I got to Al-Anon, I was used to doing things the way I had always done them, and was stuck in a dysfunctional routine just because my imagination could not conceive of anything else to do...the Steps and the principles of the program opened avenues and options for me that I had never known were there, and while I did not start making major strides in my growth until I did begin working the steps in earnest, the little new routes I was taking through life began creating subtle changes for the better in my thinking and behavior. It only takes the motion of a pebble to change the course of the river, girlfriend!
And way to go on being aware of the difference in your thinking. That means you are waking up, and you are breaking your routines. Awareness is the first of the three A's-- congratulations!!!
Emmie
kitty said
Nov 9, 2005
I see this as a road map to how to work with spirituality.
I think a lot of ppl do it naturally, never even knowing the steps!
lin0606 said
Nov 9, 2005
I definitely think you can work them without knowing it. After all, many of the steps are just ways of concious living, not specific to 12 step work at all.
When I started the program, I was amazed at how much of it was stuff I had been doing for some time. I had reached a crisis with my A about three years before either of us found recovery. I realized at that time that we had a serious problem, this was not just him being a jerk, or us having a bad marriage - it was more. I realized that our fighting, his drinking, and my freaking out about his drinking were damaging our children very badly, and made a concious decision to smarten up on my end of it. Through luck, love, and the grace of God, the changes I made to my behaviour were enough to trigger changes in his, and although he did not quit drinking, or even slow down, the fights eased off, and eventually stopped. We had three peaceful and relatively happy years, before his own crisis led him to seek sobriety.
When I finally reached al anon, I saw that I had been living step one, step 4,and step 10 (the personal inventory ones.) I had been letting go and letting God, focusing on myself, and finding the small moments of happiness in each day. I had stopped looking to my A to make my life happy or have meaning, and was finding it on my own, and through my children.
Alanon gave me the reassurance that I needed, to know that this way of life was not selfish or wrong, but instead the only way to sanity, when living with an A
abbyal said
Nov 9, 2005
Hello Barbara , steps after awhile if we truly work them become habitual, we slip sometimes but on good days old ways are replaced by new ideas and ways of dealing with life on life's terms. My old ideas didnt' work so having a new way to deal with life in general is really quite exciting. keep going your doin fine . There will be a day when u forget u got em like Al-Anon ??? whats that but luckily if we keep commin back it gets easier all the time. This is one great way to live. Louise
Jeannie said
Nov 10, 2005
Hi Barbara,
The steps eventually become a way of life, in all parts of our life, not just in dealing with an alcoholic.
I have done the steps with a sponsor, then done them alone. Over the years I go up and down the list as I hit bad parts in my life. When I see my thinking start getting ugly, I know it is time to redo the steps. The ones I do most often is to take my inventory. Then try and make amends.
While I found it very helpful to work on them with a sponsor, everyone should do things as they work for them. Hence, "Take what you like and leave the rest."
Barbara,
It works if you work it, but it soaks in even if you are not specifically working it!
When I got to Al-Anon, I was used to doing things the way I had always done them, and was stuck in a dysfunctional routine just because my imagination could not conceive of anything else to do...the Steps and the principles of the program opened avenues and options for me that I had never known were there, and while I did not start making major strides in my growth until I did begin working the steps in earnest, the little new routes I was taking through life began creating subtle changes for the better in my thinking and behavior. It only takes the motion of a pebble to change the course of the river, girlfriend!
And way to go on being aware of the difference in your thinking. That means you are waking up, and you are breaking your routines. Awareness is the first of the three A's-- congratulations!!!
Emmie
I see this as a road map to how to work with spirituality.
I think a lot of ppl do it naturally, never even knowing the steps!
Hi Barbara,
The steps eventually become a way of life, in all parts of our life, not just in dealing with an alcoholic.
I have done the steps with a sponsor, then done them alone. Over the years I go up and down the list as I hit bad parts in my life. When I see my thinking start getting ugly, I know it is time to redo the steps. The ones I do most often is to take my inventory. Then try and make amends.
While I found it very helpful to work on them with a sponsor, everyone should do things as they work for them. Hence, "Take what you like and leave the rest."
Love Jeannie