It will, if all goes according to plan, be the last anniversay of my marriage in which I am married to my husband.
I feel sad, lonely and tired.
i will not call him. After the dirt throwing Sunday morning he has called several times, I don't answer and he doesn't leave a message.
Sometimes I can clearly see someone elses situation but not my own.
The games are over for me, it takes 2 to play.
I will work, then go home and walk on the treadmill to workout.
I will bake some more cookies which I will bring to my sisters when I fly to TX from NJ on Friday to visit.
I will attend the online OP/chair meeting at MIP. I will pack my clothes for my trip to TX.
I will keep busy.
I might cry later on, out on my deck, in the rain....
megan
nycbt said
Nov 9, 2005
... AN TO FINSIH OFF YOUR SENTENCE YOU WILL CALL A FRIEND. SO YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I MIGHT BE GOING THROUGH BAD TIMES BUT I WANT TO ALSO HELP YOU.
YOUR BEST FRIEND
You are a strong person like I am. We have gone through alot of things but look we found each other an we are going to make it. It going to be hard. But like me you have come a long way for the time that I have known you. You are indepented. Which is important. You don't have to answer to anyone. You are helpful person. You are always there when I need you. In return I am going to help you. It must be very hard for you the first time away from your husband on your anniveary. Go to the movies, you can get together with me and like I said give me a call, chat online which is important. YOU ARE NOT ALONE THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WILL HELP YOU.
-- Edited by nycbt at 11:14, 2005-11-09
Barbara said
Nov 9, 2005
Megan - Im sorry {{hugs}}
The 1 meeting I have gone to so far happened to be on our wedding anniversary too - Oct 17th. Sucks
kitty said
Nov 9, 2005
way to keep the focus on yourself & aticking to your boundaries! Certainly no sense in fighting when an argument can have no resolve.
My parents (mom & step-father) were married on November 7, 1979.
She received flowers from him... put them outside & wrote a note saying "this is the day our marriage has died" talk about alpha/omega!
She decided to have a "funeral" as the man she once knew no longer exists... we said prayers & lit vigil candles around the flowers plus about 9 more just to make a pretty circle surrounding it. She kicked him out that day (out of the pool house) but it did not come to pass... she is allowing him to stay on the property. We ae all entagled w/ each other in our family real estate business so, it's just better if he lives here at the house anyway.
He did say he had an epiphany... men show their feelings thru actions as they are not capable of expressing them like women are due to the diference in size of our corpus callosum, which allows us to use both sides of our brain's at once... it's easy for us to talk about our feelings.
I know it has been several months for you... you always seem to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, u have given me a lot of strength, just reminding me 'what was I going to do for today, for me?'
You know he is hurting too but my hear aches for all us of - the A's that have lost themselves & the ones that love them that have lost themselves in loving them. Way to put it back into perspective! It is hard, it is like a death.
I left my ex-husband who is an addict over 6 yrs ago. I still wear my my wedding band but I switched it to my right hand w/in a few months after separating. I only wanted to ever get married once. As far as I am concerened, he killed our marriage, I did everything humanly possible for him. The more I loved him, the more he despised & resented me. I often touch the ring as a way of centering myself w/ God. I don't wish him dead & never did... He was my first love, my first huband & I will always love him compassionately, from a distance. I never want to see him again though.
God surround you & comfort you during this bitterswet day. Protect my friend Megan & take away any pain in her heart, so that she may focus on You & love herself.
Hope u have a great time in TX w/ ur family - I'm in Houston & it has cooled a little, the weather is gorgeous!
megan said
Nov 9, 2005
Hi Thanks to all for your support.
It sure helps not to be alone and to hear how other people coped.
I know that I am doing the right thing for myself with the divorce.
I am so much healthier than I was when I found alanon last July.
I am strong and independant....and human and sad....
But yes, I will pack for my trip to Houston on Friday and also read some of my travel books on Yosemite to prepare for next weeks trip to CA.
keeping myself busy, I am sure good at that.
thanks all for listening
megan
Diva said
Nov 9, 2005
Megan, I am going to use what some consider a trite phrase...I am very sorry. I am sorry that your marriage was not one made in heaven. I am sorry things turned out this way. That "what might have been" can sometimes send us reeling. I hope my a is finished with the liquor, and that we never have to go through a divorce. But with this disease, one never knows. One thing we DO know; it's a day-to-day thing. You have the right idea. Keep yourself busy, mentally and physically. Chin up and press on. You'll be fine. You are strong, capable, and bright; a combination that is bound to survive.
((((((((((((((((((Megan))))))))))))))))
With deep caring, Diva
captcodee said
Nov 9, 2005
I feel the best when I feel.
I am sure you will too. Sometimes it just feels good to cry. You are, afterall, saying goodbye. That will take some time. I will think of you today.
Aron
Dolphin123 said
Nov 9, 2005
(((((((((((((MEGAN)))))))))))))),
Sending you big huge hugs of support.
It sounds like you have a good plan for staying busy.
And if you get the urge to make extra cookies you could always send them my way
We are here for you.
Much Love,
megan said
Nov 9, 2005
Thank-you all.
I bought Christmas lights and a garland of Holly and berries and electric candles for the windows. I will do some Christmas decorating tonight!
I will be away the next 2 weekends and then it will be Thanksgiving.
I will start the light and joy of the Christmas season early, when I need it.
Megan
Ps if you wwant cookies Dolphin pm me your addy :)
Dolphin123 said
Nov 9, 2005
Megan,
Oh I love decorating for Christmas, and that always does my heart, body, and soul wonders. I hope it does the same for you.
LOL, as for the cookies, very tempting but I am doing well on my diet and work out routine. I have told myself that if I eat with healthy everyday, I will not guilt trip myself on Thanksgiving if I slip on the diet. But I will keep your offer in mind Maybe you could be the Mrs.Fields of MIP!
Much Love,
bubbles1990 said
Nov 9, 2005
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((megan)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hang in there and way to work your program and keeping the focus on you..... It sounds like you are going to be a busy beaver for the next few weeks...... So am i this weekend i will be with my family and with hubbys family and then nexted Thursday I and my mother in law is headed to YOSEMITY CALIF too........ So megan I will see you there can't wait to meet you......
Sorry, to here you are sad but YOU ARE NOT ALONE... We are here if you need to chat.... We love you !!
Loves and hugs bubbles123
rosie light shines said
Nov 9, 2005
((((hugs))))) i know it is sad, the aniversaries....when my Ex b.f. and i split, 5 years ago, he was BAAAD "A" and no recovery!!!! thank God he didn't abuse me, but oh, it was awful being with him, watching him drink himself into oblivion, i couldn't do it anymre...i refused to marry him bcuz of the drinking...he got mad, dumped me rather than get into recovery, and married some gal he dated for 8 WEEKENDS........i was *blown away* needless to say, but you know???/ i got into recovery, i am getting healed, putting my life back together, and i don't even KNOW what he is doing...but the anniversaries were sad....b-days' date we met.....date we did this/ that....yep, for the first year i felt like i was missing a good part of me....but you knwo???? i wouldn't have him back on a bet in that shape....it was just too unhealthy for me......his getting crying drunk, hostile to others (thank God not me) but oh, i don't miss it, not any more since i came here......IF there is someone for me outthere, it won't be an "A" or an "na" , i can't take it again!!!!!! those substance abusers, from my mom, to my siblings, to my ex husband to my other sig others, wore me OUT!!!!!! keep hanging with us, and take care of U.....hugs, rosie
Jeannie said
Nov 9, 2005
((((Megan))))
It is okay to feel sad. In fact it's okay to feel whatever your feeling.
Sounds like you will be keeping yourself busy.
Enjoy your Christmas decorating and enjoy your trip. You deserve to have a wonderful time.
Love Jeannie
david62 said
Nov 9, 2005
Hi (((Megan)))
I went through "that" anniversary last year...on June 24, 2004...seperated from my wife..not yet divorced....it was a hard day...but I made it through with the help of my program and my alanon family.
June 24, 2005 was a lot easier. It was post divorce, still some sadness, but it does get easier!
Glad to see you are working your program. Hope you enjoy your visit to the great state of Texas!
I have been looking at atlas for days now....plotting my trip from texas to yosemite...since I am driving.
So looking forward to meeting you at Serenity in Yosemite!!!!
Thanks for sharing,
David
mom to 2 said
Nov 9, 2005
Megan,
I'm so sorry things turned out this way. You've taken the necessary steps to protect yourself but it hurts nonetheless. I think of you often and wish you nothing but happiness.
One thing I've learned throughout this last very difficult 8 months is that things do get easier--the first time things happen is the hardest---next year will be better for you, without a doubt.
mom to 2
Diane43 said
Nov 9, 2005
Hi Megan,
Sorry to hear of your sadness you are feeling..My prayers and thoughts are with you..Keep your chin up ...enjoy the decorating..Hugs to you
Diane
nmike said
Nov 10, 2005
Hi Megan,
Lots of support for you on your anniversary. My A moved out in June. Our anniversary is coming up in December. If you can make it so can I.
Today is my anniversary. 14 years married.
It will, if all goes according to plan, be the last anniversay of my marriage in which I am married to my husband.
I feel sad, lonely and tired.
i will not call him. After the dirt throwing Sunday morning he has called several times, I don't answer and he doesn't leave a message.
Sometimes I can clearly see someone elses situation but not my own.
The games are over for me, it takes 2 to play.
I will work, then go home and walk on the treadmill to workout.
I will bake some more cookies which I will bring to my sisters when I fly to TX from NJ on Friday to visit.
I will attend the online OP/chair meeting at MIP. I will pack my clothes for my trip to TX.
I will keep busy.
I might cry later on, out on my deck, in the rain....
megan
... AN TO FINSIH OFF YOUR SENTENCE YOU WILL CALL A FRIEND. SO YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I MIGHT BE GOING THROUGH BAD TIMES BUT I WANT TO ALSO HELP YOU.
YOUR BEST FRIEND
You are a strong person like I am. We have gone through alot of things but look we found each other an we are going to make it. It going to be hard. But like me you have come a long way for the time that I have known you. You are indepented. Which is important. You don't have to answer to anyone. You are helpful person. You are always there when I need you. In return I am going to help you. It must be very hard for you the first time away from your husband on your anniveary. Go to the movies, you can get together with me and like I said give me a call, chat online which is important. YOU ARE NOT ALONE THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WILL HELP YOU.
-- Edited by nycbt at 11:14, 2005-11-09
Megan - Im sorry {{hugs}}
The 1 meeting I have gone to so far happened to be on our wedding anniversary too - Oct 17th. Sucks
way to keep the focus on yourself & aticking to your boundaries! Certainly no sense in fighting when an argument can have no resolve.
My parents (mom & step-father) were married on November 7, 1979.
She received flowers from him... put them outside & wrote a note saying "this is the day our marriage has died" talk about alpha/omega!
She decided to have a "funeral" as the man she once knew no longer exists... we said prayers & lit vigil candles around the flowers plus about 9 more just to make a pretty circle surrounding it. She kicked him out that day (out of the pool house) but it did not come to pass... she is allowing him to stay on the property. We ae all entagled w/ each other in our family real estate business so, it's just better if he lives here at the house anyway.
He did say he had an epiphany... men show their feelings thru actions as they are not capable of expressing them like women are due to the diference in size of our corpus callosum, which allows us to use both sides of our brain's at once... it's easy for us to talk about our feelings.
I know it has been several months for you... you always seem to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, u have given me a lot of strength, just reminding me 'what was I going to do for today, for me?'
You know he is hurting too but my hear aches for all us of - the A's that have lost themselves & the ones that love them that have lost themselves in loving them. Way to put it back into perspective! It is hard, it is like a death.
I left my ex-husband who is an addict over 6 yrs ago. I still wear my my wedding band but I switched it to my right hand w/in a few months after separating. I only wanted to ever get married once. As far as I am concerened, he killed our marriage, I did everything humanly possible for him. The more I loved him, the more he despised & resented me. I often touch the ring as a way of centering myself w/ God. I don't wish him dead & never did... He was my first love, my first huband & I will always love him compassionately, from a distance. I never want to see him again though.
God surround you & comfort you during this bitterswet day. Protect my friend Megan & take away any pain in her heart, so that she may focus on You & love herself.
Hope u have a great time in TX w/ ur family - I'm in Houston & it has cooled a little, the weather is gorgeous!
Hi Thanks to all for your support.
It sure helps not to be alone and to hear how other people coped.
I know that I am doing the right thing for myself with the divorce.
I am so much healthier than I was when I found alanon last July.
I am strong and independant....and human and sad....
But yes, I will pack for my trip to Houston on Friday and also read some of my travel books on Yosemite to prepare for next weeks trip to CA.
keeping myself busy, I am sure good at that.
thanks all for listening
megan
I feel the best when I feel.
I am sure you will too. Sometimes it just feels good to cry. You are, afterall, saying goodbye. That will take some time. I will think of you today.
(((((((((((((MEGAN)))))))))))))),
Sending you big huge hugs of support.
It sounds like you have a good plan for staying busy.
And if you get the urge to make extra cookies you could always send them my way
We are here for you.
Much Love,
Thank-you all.
I bought Christmas lights and a garland of Holly and berries and electric candles for the windows. I will do some Christmas decorating tonight!
I will be away the next 2 weekends and then it will be Thanksgiving.
I will start the light and joy of the Christmas season early, when I need it.
Megan
Ps if you wwant cookies Dolphin pm me your addy :)
Megan,
Oh I love decorating for Christmas, and that always does my heart, body, and soul wonders. I hope it does the same for you.
LOL, as for the cookies, very tempting
but I am doing well on my diet and work out routine. I have told myself that if I eat with healthy everyday, I will not guilt trip myself on Thanksgiving if I slip on the diet. But I will keep your offer in mind 
Maybe you could be the Mrs.Fields of MIP!
Much Love,
((((Megan))))
It is okay to feel sad. In fact it's okay to feel whatever your feeling.
Sounds like you will be keeping yourself busy.
Enjoy your Christmas decorating and enjoy your trip. You deserve to have a wonderful time.
Love Jeannie
Hi (((Megan)))
I went through "that" anniversary last year...on June 24, 2004...seperated from my wife..not yet divorced....it was a hard day...but I made it through with the help of my program and my alanon family.
June 24, 2005 was a lot easier. It was post divorce, still some sadness, but it does get easier!
Glad to see you are working your program. Hope you enjoy your visit to the great state of Texas!
I have been looking at atlas for days now....plotting my trip from texas to yosemite...since I am driving.
So looking forward to meeting you at Serenity in Yosemite!!!!
Thanks for sharing,
David
Megan,
I'm so sorry things turned out this way. You've taken the necessary steps to protect yourself but it hurts nonetheless. I think of you often and wish you nothing but happiness.
One thing I've learned throughout this last very difficult 8 months is that things do get easier--the first time things happen is the hardest---next year will be better for you, without a doubt.
mom to 2
Hi Megan,
Sorry to hear of your sadness you are feeling..My prayers and thoughts are with you..Keep your chin up ...enjoy the decorating..Hugs to you
Diane
Hi Megan,
Lots of support for you on your anniversary. My A moved out in June. Our anniversary is coming up in December. If you can make it so can I.
In support,
Nancy