I am having a hard time not talking to him. I love to hear him talk. But I didn't like the way he was talking to me last night. So for at least the next 15 minutues I will try and stay strong and not call him. My mind set is different now then when I used to do this. When i used to get up here i would be calling him on the phone to see if he was alright. Then when i was ready to go to bed i would call him to say good night. In the morning I would be calling him, or answering his calls, but today was different. I didn't do any crying. I haven't called and haven't answered any of his calls.
-- Edited by nycbt at 14:35, 2005-11-07
marmare said
Nov 7, 2005
When my A and I was seperated last month, it was so hard not to talk to him. I was reminded by someone here on the board, not to see things through rose colored glasses. I smiled and thought that is exactly what I am doing. I like you missed his voice, I missed his smile. I found however I didn't miss the drama his way of life brings into our home. So I waited and waited, it took my A ten days to call me and 6 more to ask to come home. We are living day to day right now, he is still drinking. I did make it very clear however that I will not live or associate with anyone that I know is using drugs. Trust has become such an issue living with an A. He seems to be trying hard to say what he means and meaning what he says. If he says I am on my way home, he has been following through, not stopping at every other bar on the way home. He is making a geniune effort to spend time with me and not just watching tv. I am taking it slow and one day at a time. When I feel myself getting frustrated, I breath. Hang in there, sometimes we have to live one moment at a time. You will know when the time is right for you.
Hugs Mary
captcodee said
Nov 7, 2005
I found the same thing as both of you. It was easy for him not to call me, cause he could just get wasted and forget about me...
I had to go buy a Precious Moment's Serenity Prayer Cross Stitch, and tell myself that after I finished a part, I could call, then when I was finished that part, I would tell myself, well I won't call now, I will wait until after the next part. Slowly I started to not want to call him every second moment. A good thing too, cause the more i called, the more dissappointed I was that he wasn't as outwardly blue as I was.
Live in the moment. Remeber Your motivations for this, and keep the focus on you. You aren't doing this to get HIM fixed, you are doing this to return your own sanity (at least I hope that is your motivation ) Every time you make contact with him you will go back a step. But don't get down on yourself if you do go back a step, cause you have gone leaps and bounds!! A step back won't kill you.
take care, and keep posting when you want to call!
Aron in the Mountains
Christy said
Nov 7, 2005
So for at least the next 15 minutues I will try and stay strong and not call him.
I really hope you make it for the next 15 minutes after that, and the next. and the next.
You're making great progress. This is your day to take back your power!!!
As we used to say back in the day..
Keep On Truckin Baby!!!!
Christy
(Cjo)
I am having a hard time not talking to him.
I love to hear him talk. 
But I didn't like the way he was talking to me last night.
So for at least the next 15 minutues I will try and stay strong and not call him. My mind set is different now then when I used to do this. When i used to get up here i would be calling him on the phone to see if he was alright. Then when i was ready to go to bed i would call him to say good night. In the morning I would be calling him, or answering his calls, but today was different. I didn't do any crying. I haven't called and haven't answered any of his calls.
-- Edited by nycbt at 14:35, 2005-11-07
When my A and I was seperated last month, it was so hard not to talk to him. I was reminded by someone here on the board, not to see things through rose colored glasses. I smiled and thought that is exactly what I am doing. I like you missed his voice, I missed his smile. I found however I didn't miss the drama his way of life brings into our home. So I waited and waited, it took my A ten days to call me and 6 more to ask to come home. We are living day to day right now, he is still drinking. I did make it very clear however that I will not live or associate with anyone that I know is using drugs. Trust has become such an issue living with an A. He seems to be trying hard to say what he means and meaning what he says. If he says I am on my way home, he has been following through, not stopping at every other bar on the way home. He is making a geniune effort to spend time with me and not just watching tv. I am taking it slow and one day at a time. When I feel myself getting frustrated, I breath. Hang in there, sometimes we have to live one moment at a time. You will know when the time is right for you.
Hugs Mary
I had to go buy a Precious Moment's Serenity Prayer Cross Stitch, and tell myself that after I finished a part, I could call, then when I was finished that part, I would tell myself, well I won't call now, I will wait until after the next part. Slowly I started to not want to call him every second moment. A good thing too, cause the more i called, the more dissappointed I was that he wasn't as outwardly blue as I was.
Live in the moment. Remeber Your motivations for this, and keep the focus on you. You aren't doing this to get HIM fixed, you are doing this to return your own sanity (at least I hope that is your motivation
) Every time you make contact with him you will go back a step. But don't get down on yourself if you do go back a step, cause you have gone leaps and bounds!! A step back won't kill you. 
take care, and keep posting when you want to call!
Aron in the Mountains
