So, called my A last night. He was supposed to pick up my stepdaughter and take her to the movies (which I'm sure he did) but now his phone is off (since 11:30 last night when I called) and now I'm wondering if he's had second thoughts about the whole rehab thing and/or he went out on one last binge before. I know he's out there b/c I feel it in the pit of my stomach. I know there is nothing I can do about it. I have to show the apt today to two different people and then I have a lunch date with a friend of mine and I will do all those things but I have to wonder....is he safe? Will he go too far this time? I get very sad....
Jeannie said
Nov 6, 2005
((((((((((Kim))))))
Boy can I relate to your post.
Try and not dwell on it, I know that is so much easier said than done. Try and keep yourself busy. There is nothing you can do to change what he is doing. Just focus on you. Yes it is sad, and yes it does hurt.
Love Jeannie
canadianguy said
Nov 6, 2005
The reality that you are faced with today Kim, as much as it is painful, is best summarized by:
"He will either drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
I agree, it's really tough to watch or see, but the reality is that he is gonna do what he is gonna do - whether that involves rehab and recovery, or using, or running away, or whatever.... You can't do anything about it, and cannot "cause his sobriety", anymore than you can "cause his drunkenness"....
Sorry to hear like a broken record here, but now is the time for you to dive into YOUR recovery program, and over time, you will be less focussed, and obsessed, with the chaotic ups and downs and misdirections that life with an active A is bringing...
Take care
Tom
Karilynn said
Nov 6, 2005
Kim,
Forgive me for being harsh, but don't waste your time and energy on him. You can't control him, so don't even think about it (easier said than done I know). Go do what you have to do. Don't loose yourself in his disease. It will consume you if you do. Go to lunch and start taking care of Kim.
Live strong,
Karilynn
Dolphin123 said
Nov 7, 2005
Kim,
It is good that you are doing something for you. Remember focus on you, and try to give him over to your HP.
((((((((((Kim))))))
Boy can I relate to your post.
Try and not dwell on it, I know that is so much easier said than done. Try and keep yourself busy. There is nothing you can do to change what he is doing. Just focus on you. Yes it is sad, and yes it does hurt.
Love Jeannie
The reality that you are faced with today Kim, as much as it is painful, is best summarized by:
"He will either drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
I agree, it's really tough to watch or see, but the reality is that he is gonna do what he is gonna do - whether that involves rehab and recovery, or using, or running away, or whatever.... You can't do anything about it, and cannot "cause his sobriety", anymore than you can "cause his drunkenness"....
Sorry to hear like a broken record here, but now is the time for you to dive into YOUR recovery program, and over time, you will be less focussed, and obsessed, with the chaotic ups and downs and misdirections that life with an active A is bringing...
Take care
Tom
Kim,
It is good that you are doing something for you. Remember focus on you, and try to give him over to your HP.
Much Love,