Its sooo perturbing that people think I am fine, and that there is nothing wrong with me....I try soo hard to not dwell on my past,but something in my everyday life always triggers something... even in my unconscious. For the past week I have been having terrifying dreams that I am being molested again...I wake up screaming and crying,and unable to breathe..because the dreams feel so real..

 

Can you heart the music to my heart?

 

I am only trying to love

 

I am not perfect, but then no one else is except for the one above

 

I am listening, but hear no sound

 

My head is spinning all around

 

I cry out to God to save me

 

But God is unable to hear my plea

 

I am here waiting, but you are not near

 

I begin to pray

 

But am left with not a word to say

 

I love you God, but you took my heart away

 

Lauren ash

 

11-3-05

 

 

 

 

  I love u hon, I answered to your post via PM, for your eyes only.  Take care of yourself... I'm here if u need me.

love, -kitty

Lauren my dear never give up hope, someday, someway your fears and will lessen, and you will get on with your life.  You are making daily steps, just keep walking and God will lead you away from your nightmares.  Hang in there girl!  Keep the  Faith.

Josey

(((((((((Lauren))))))))))),

We hear you hon.  Sometimes the subconscious works overtime to bring attention to some of the denial we are experiencing.

Are you seeing a counselor?  Are you addressing all of this?

Know that you are well-loved here and know that though I have not experienced the same things as you, we are all trying to get along with our baggage.  You are not alone here.  In many ways, I feel fractured too but there's only one way out and that is to feel, deal and heal.

love you,

Maria