John Bradshaw, a recovering alcoholic did a series on the Dysfunctional Family - I watched the video over & over.
He explained that how in a dysfunctional family each member is "like a piece hanging off of a mobile" & if one gets spinning or bumped - the whole family feels the waves... this is the "enmeshment soup" (enmesh= entagle) of a dysfunctional family. One person's feelings effects everyone else's.
Children & babies & animals are more in touch with the raw emotional feelings in this "soup" they feel the emotions better than we do BUT they have no ability to verbally communicate the ways in which they are feeling.
Ever heard that animals get the same diseases as their owners? They are empathetically in-tune with us & trying to unburden us -- we must unburden ourselves.
The 3 C's work both ways -- I cause my own life, I can control my attitudes, I can cure my life.
I hope this is empowering... when I was SUPER DEPRESSED it sometimes would make me feel guilty/worse but again, I take responsibility for & own my emotions.
pixel04 said
Nov 2, 2005
Hi Kitty,
Thanks for rephrasing the 3 C's that way. Helps to put the focus on what CAN be done instead of what can't, although both are true. I know your phrasing will stick in my head though. Thanks for sharing.
Kristen
rosie light shines said
Nov 2, 2005
wow, kitty, i can so relate........being as sensitive as i am i KNOW i absorbed my mother's karma her anger...her frustration being married to a wife beating / adulterous AND child offender ...i absorbed her anger as well as my own....i suspected this when iwas doing inner child work......once i saw it, i was able to , after the awareness, to accept it, and to take action to the point of self talk that this is "NOT my karma".....i truly think the more sensitive one is , the more crap they are gonna absorb.....i was always the one who could "sense trouble comming" i could SMELL when a mood was going from just drunk to violent drunk....i could sense when the freak was going to bother me that night!!!! oh yeah!!! talk about enmeshment.....i want to puke!!!!!!!
NOW i can take responsibility and control of my life through my higher power......NOW i can who touches me and how/when.......NOW i can have my life AS MY OWN...............hugs/ rosie
kitty said
Nov 2, 2005
YES, Rosie and as little kids, we internalize all of this & think we are responsible or it is our fault why our parent's/families can't get along.
We love our parents so much, they are like God's to us in those precious years. So we take in (absorb u sd) their angst, patterns or even worse... swear we will never be like them & grow up to be EXACTLY LIKE THEM.
John Bradshaw, a recovering alcoholic did a series on the Dysfunctional Family - I watched the video over & over.
He explained that how in a dysfunctional family each member is "like a piece hanging off of a mobile" & if one gets spinning or bumped - the whole family feels the waves... this is the "enmeshment soup" (enmesh= entagle) of a dysfunctional family. One person's feelings effects everyone else's.
Children & babies & animals are more in touch with the raw emotional feelings in this "soup" they feel the emotions better than we do BUT they have no ability to verbally communicate the ways in which they are feeling.
Ever heard that animals get the same diseases as their owners? They are empathetically in-tune with us & trying to unburden us -- we must unburden ourselves.
The 3 C's work both ways -- I cause my own life, I can control my attitudes, I can cure my life.
wow, kitty, i can so relate........being as sensitive as i am i KNOW i absorbed my mother's karma her anger...her frustration being married to a wife beating / adulterous AND child offender ...i absorbed her anger as well as my own....i suspected this when iwas doing inner child work......once i saw it, i was able to , after the awareness, to accept it, and to take action to the point of self talk that this is "NOT my karma".....i truly think the more sensitive one is , the more crap they are gonna absorb.....i was always the one who could "sense trouble comming" i could SMELL when a mood was going from just drunk to violent drunk....i could sense when the freak was going to bother me that night!!!! oh yeah!!! talk about enmeshment.....i want to puke!!!!!!!
NOW i can take responsibility and control of my life through my higher power......NOW i can who touches me and how/when.......NOW i can have my life AS MY OWN...............hugs/ rosie
YES, Rosie and as little kids, we internalize all of this & think we are responsible or it is our fault why our parent's/families can't get along.
We love our parents so much, they are like God's to us in those precious years. So we take in (absorb u sd) their angst, patterns or even worse... swear we will never be like them & grow up to be EXACTLY LIKE THEM.