today i am very angry. my a brought to my attention that when he went out a week ago he went into his savings and speant all the car insurance money for this months payment. so he went to his grandmother who is the most loving christian i have ever met. so basically she is paying for his crack habit. he admitted to lying to me he said he didnt want me to yell at him. so i spoke calmly and brought it to his attention that his grandmother is enabling him and she doesnt even know it. she just thinks he didnt make enough money this month. he told me not to worry this isnt going to happen anymore. yeah right, heard it all before. so all these thoughts of the past when he has hurt me are playing in my mind and i just cant get rid of them. this past weekend he was adament on going out with the guys but i spoke to him and reminded him of the consequences if he went and binged again. so he agreed and ended up staying home. we had a wonderful weekend together. what bothers me is when he went to cancel his plans with his friends he left the house to make the call. i know it was his friend he was calling cause i checked his last dialed numbers. but what is he saying to them about me. why couldnt he just make the call in front of me. so im sitting here getting angrier and angrier, feeling like he lives a double life. maybe he really is one of those types of men that i hate so much that i always said i woulldnt be with. i just have this gut feeling there is some secret going on. or im missing something. i just dont know right now. trying to focus on myself and not react to something that isnt even happening. trying to ignore the past. thx for letting me vent

((((((((((((Notsonew))))))))))))) hugs,

A couple of things, you may not (or may ;) ) want to hear or be ready to hear.

1.  Regarding his relationships with others such as his grandmother, let them be.  They are not your relationship and they have no bearing on you.

2.  Regarding being angry, try to be happy for the fact that he made the choice to be with you.  That you were able to articulate your needs and he met them.  He could have left.  Regarding checking his cell phone, that's not healthy.  I've often been told "what I don't know won't hurt me" that's not denial, because you are going in search of information and sometimes it hurts you.  Keep the focus on you .  Learn to appreciate the little things, one day at a time.  Begin a journal if you need to and write down all the little things that go well, a gratitude list, if you will.

I hope this helps, it's delivered to you with love in the hopes of helping you.

yours in recovery,

Maria123