I was listening to an excerpt from a speaker tape on relationships, and the speaker was speaking of that question "how do I trust them?"  What this speaker said really hit me.  He started off by saying, you just do it.  Then he started expanding... he spoke of those who get suspicious and start looking for "evidence".... maybe a note, a letter, a phone number on the cell phone, etc.  He said "if you are searching thru their things looking for this, is that trustworthy behavior on your part?"  Zing!  He asked the question of why put yourself through the pain of suspicion every day, why cause yourself that hurt over and over and over.  He said if a lie is brought to light, then yes you will have pain at that moment.  But isn't it better to just have that pain once rather than over and over and over when it isn't even a certainty?  Some good points I thought, especially that question of are we acting in a trustworthy manner ourself.  Food for thought.

Good Points!

For me, it is also a matter of "is that how I would want to be treated?"  If I don't trust the people around me, then I am setting it up so that people don't trust me.  Would I like it if the people around me were checking my pockets, bank accounts, phone logs, emails???

Trust is an act of faith.  The speaker was so right proposing the question "Isn't it better to just feel that pain once, rather than over and over"?

Aron in the (windy) Mountains

My ex told me over a year ago that she didn't trust me, we were still married at the time.  I had been sober a year and was working very hard on being trustworthy. I was able to be extremely honest because I was working very hard at keeping my side of the street clean to maintain my sobriety. I really had nothing to hide. I always thought it interesting that she said she didn't trust me about the same time she was going out all night and not coming home and not letting me know where or who she was with.

Coincidence?

Lou

Thank you kismet!!!

I so agree with what you are saying!! I don't know how  many times I criticized the alcoholics behavior for something perceived and not certain only to discover that my own behavior was not the best.  Brings to mind the old adage..."when you point a finger at someone, you have three fingers pointing back at you!" Thanks for the reminder.SenoraBob

Yes, it is better to deal with the reality at hand.

What I do know about the "mind" is we send out frequencies - messages of intention/thoughts into the Universe.  It is cause & effect...  what we send out, we receive ten fold.

I am working very diligently on changing my negative patterns of thought, so that I can *attract* balanced, happy ppl to me. 

I tend to be the polar opposite -- way too naive, too trusting.  But al Lou stated -- when someone is "accusing you" of things, it is probably because they are the ones thinking them &/or doing them.

-love, -K

Kis,

Thank you for sharing that with us. You really got me thinking, and that is a scary thing . Anyway, I really enjoyed it, and what that speaker said really made sense, why do that to ourselves?

Much Love,

kitty......................"I am working very diligently on changing my negative patterns of thought, so that I can *attract* balanced, happy ppl to me.  I tend to be the polar opposite -- way too naive, too trusting.  But al Lou stated -- when someone is "accusing you" of things, it is probably because they are the ones thinking them &/or doing them.

 

rosie................yep, i am doing my tapes/ affirms to change my former negative  *sorry assed* belief system.....what i think?? i attract....so CHANGE my thinking...change my karma...........and yeah,   if someone is accusing you of someting??? lots of time it is Bcuz of THEIR inventory,   not mine!!!!!!!  great points.....on the original thread??? i watch!!! observe!!!!    if someone's actions don't match their words???  i am gone.....if they are never there for me????  bye bye!!!!!  people ,  IF i watch??,   show their true colors before long....i don't have to dig....the crap comes out all on its own....its hard to live a lie!! i know, because as a people pleasing recovering coda,  i was the ultimate chamelion,  and it did not last....i got *found out*.......so now??? i am me....love me/ leave me,  but U will do it with the REAL me...........just my take,  rosie