Hi, Good morning everyone and Happy Halloween!  I have been attending al anon meetings both online and face to face.  I have this issue of not trusting this man I have been seeing.  He is an active drinker and I wonder at times if he is truthful with me.  He told me the other day a woman that is the mother to his son's g/f has been making passes to him and trying to get close to him as she is going through a divorce.  This woman had also mailed him a card thanking him for being a friend.  He told me that he had told her to take care of herself and think of her kids.  One thing that did make me feel good was that he said everything he told her he had learned from me..I know I have made progress in the past few months, but the trust thing with me is just so hard at times.  I find myself feeling that I am not good enough and when I think of this woman, I get sick inside.  I had to count to 10 to not get angry and upset.  He tried to reassure me that he is not interested in her and that he has told her over and over that he does not want anything from her.  I know an alcoholics self esteem is low and that at times, they have to prove to themselves that they are worthy.  I have turned this over to God, and want things to get better for he and I ... I wanted to invite him to an al anon meeting, but he does not live in the same city as I do.  I need to find the strength from God to allow me to trust and love.  Thanks for listening.  Diane

I think trust is a major issue for anyone who has dealt with an alcoholic--ever.  We are so used to being lied to, that we question everything.  I'm sorry you are having a difficult time.  I hope that you find peace soon.  You are right to pray--I know it is hard to let go and let God, but when we do things tend to work out better!

Good luck,

Dawn

I agree with Dawn, it is hard for us to trust. I know for me it is hard, because women who are in AA and NA can understand him in a way that I will never be able to. All I can do is love him to the best of my ability, and if he does stray, I need to remember that I have no control over what he does.

We are always here to listen.

Much Love,

i would never trust an active A  who is not in recovery....they lie...they con ....they play on your emotions....they are not trustworthy.....if i want to learn how to trust, i need to pick on the *trustworthys*  and build on that....if i trust the not trust worthy's???  i get more bitter , more angry  and its my fault....putting expectations where they don't belong.....i always say,  "what i permit i promote"     "unrealistic expectations  (in this case honesty)  is pre-meditated resentments".....i stay away from folks that are NOT in recovery SERIUOSLY  working their program......take what works, leave the rest/ rosie

Hi and hugs to all of you... Thanks for your replies and support.. I have to be strong and take care of me..

Have a great day!

Diane