I talked to my A earlier tonight. He hadn't started his drinking at that point. I told him I was unable to live like this any more and I wanted to get separated. He said that he thought it wouldn't get to this point. I told him it was past that point and for everyone’s sake we needed to separate. I told him it would be best for me, the kids and him. I did not accuse him of anything... I just told him what needed to happen. He did agree to move out after I asked him if he would leave the house or would me and the kids have to.
I don’t know when he is going to go though. That is my next concern. He is very angry and drinking as usual. Those two things don’t go well together. My daughter is hanging on by a thread through all of this and my son seems very relieved. My son even gave me a real hug before I went to go talk to my A and said good luck! It really made feel good.
So, I am still here… waiting. I really didn’t expect him to even stay around tonight but he is here. That somewhat concerns me. I’m not sure what to expect next from him. I know he is a walking time bomb. The next few days will be the test. If things get out of control I will leave ASAP. I have a few back up places to stay and emergency rides if necessary. My bags are stashed at a friend’s house. I will not relax fully till he is gone.
I will keep in touch. Please pray for my daughter to hold up through all of this. And pass on any extra strength my way if you have any. Thanks!
Maria123 said
Oct 29, 2005
((((((((((Linda))))))))))),
we are here for you, keep coming and keep posting and listen to your HP for guidance.
how old are the kids? just wondering.
yours in recovery,
Maria123
nikkilou said
Oct 29, 2005
Sandie,
Sounds like you did great. If he tries anything call police they will make him leave. Problem solved. I'm sending all my good vibes your way tonight.
Your friend NIKKILOU
Tammy said
Oct 29, 2005
I know how hard it is right now.. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Things will get better one way or another. Dont be suprised if he doesnt leave. Tomorrow he will hope you will forget what you said and life can get back to normal.. The one thing I learned is that nothing changes if nothing changes. easy to say hard to do..
God Bless !! Tammy
Emmie11 said
Oct 29, 2005
Sandie,
Congratulations on remaining calm and taking care of yourself through this process.
I am very proud of you and how you are growing in this program. I have been and will coniune praying for you, your kids, and your husband.
Much love,
Emmie
leo said
Oct 29, 2005
Hi Linda,
You have overcome the first hurdle. You are well prepared whatever the cirumstance. The ball is now in his court. Take one day at a time. There is no rush unless you fear for your safety. As mentioned by others the police are there if you need them. Luv Leoxx
tea2 said
Oct 30, 2005
((((Linda)))) Thank you for letting us know. Your children have a very loving Mom. Hoping you will be safe during this very difficult time.
With lots of care and wishes, Tracey -tea2
nmike said
Oct 30, 2005
Hi sandie123,
I admire your courage. Stay strong. Way to make a decision! Keep us posted.
In support,
Nancy
megan said
Oct 30, 2005
Hi Linda
((((((Linda))))))
You and your family are in my prayers today.
I am glad that he agreed to move out but will be surprised if he does.
Can you give him a date that you need him to move out by?
Your backup plan preparations sound good.
Have you put aside money? How about important papers? Bank records, school records, etc.
I left my Alcoholic husband of 14 years in May. He would not leave.
I have to say my life is better than it has been in years. I have grown and become a better person, sister, friend.
Oh and a sidenote my A is sober 4 weeks now. I stopped enabling and he had to stop drinking (finally) to cope.
Make sure to keep in touch. Take some extra time and do things out of the house for you and the kids. Go to the park, the library, the mall,, anywhere. Be good to yourself
Stay in touch
megan
Dolphin123 said
Oct 30, 2005
(((((((((Linda))))))))))))),
Stay strong!
Thank you for updating us on how you are doing.
You and your family are in my prayers tonight.
It is good that you have a safety plan, I hope you will not have to use it.
((((((((((Linda))))))))))),
we are here for you, keep coming and keep posting and listen to your HP for guidance.
how old are the kids? just wondering.
yours in recovery,
Maria123
Sandie,
Sounds like you did great. If he tries anything call police they will make him leave. Problem solved. I'm sending all my good vibes your way tonight.
Your friend NIKKILOU
I know how hard it is right now.. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Things will get better one way or another. Dont be suprised if he doesnt leave. Tomorrow he will hope you will forget what you said and life can get back to normal.. The one thing I learned is that nothing changes if nothing changes. easy to say hard to do..
God Bless !! Tammy
Sandie,
Congratulations on remaining calm and taking care of yourself through this process.
I am very proud of you and how you are growing in this program. I have been and will coniune praying for you, your kids, and your husband.
Much love,
Emmie
Hi Linda,
You have overcome the first hurdle. You are well prepared whatever the cirumstance. The ball is now in his court. Take one day at a time. There is no rush unless you fear for your safety. As mentioned by others the police are there if you need them. Luv Leoxx
((((Linda)))) Thank you for letting us know.
Your children have a very loving Mom.
Hoping you will be safe during this very difficult time.
With lots of care and wishes, Tracey -tea2
Hi sandie123,
I admire your courage. Stay strong. Way to make a decision! Keep us posted.
In support,
Nancy
Hi Linda
((((((Linda))))))
You and your family are in my prayers today.
I am glad that he agreed to move out but will be surprised if he does.
Can you give him a date that you need him to move out by?
Your backup plan preparations sound good.
Have you put aside money?
How about important papers? Bank records, school records, etc.
I left my Alcoholic husband of 14 years in May. He would not leave.
I have to say my life is better than it has been in years. I have grown and become a better person, sister, friend.
Oh and a sidenote my A is sober 4 weeks now. I stopped enabling and he had to stop drinking (finally) to cope.
Make sure to keep in touch. Take some extra time and do things out of the house for you and the kids. Go to the park, the library, the mall,, anywhere. Be good to yourself
Stay in touch
megan
(((((((((Linda))))))))))))),
Stay strong!
Thank you for updating us on how you are doing.
You and your family are in my prayers tonight.
It is good that you have a safety plan, I hope you will not have to use it.
Much Love,