I was wondering if anyone else even though your not daily involved with an Active A still suffers from nightmares and images that pop into your head as memories of events. I know it is often referred to as post traumatic disorder. Sometimes I'm just sitting watching tv or driving home and this horrible memory will suddenly come up and I feel like i'm still in that situation or have the same emotions that I had at that time.
Does this ever stop? I believe I have come to terms with my past so why won't this go away?
bd
sanddie said
Oct 26, 2005
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is VERY real. A smell can even trigger a memory or a situation can take me back 20 years at times where I feel I'm reliving an abusive situation. For the most part, I've learned to recognize those situations within a minute or so that trigger that emotion and capture the thought, turning it around to help me realize that I'm here today, away from that situation. But I will say this... There are times if your circumstances around you are so overwhelming (like they've been with me the past month) and you get things coming at you from ALL directions that it is VERY difficult not to break down. Actually, that is what I've been experiencing very bad the past couple of weeks due to an abusive situation that occured at my place of employment with my boss and the Director of HR. In turn, my doctor has kept me off work these past two weeks to get grounded in the present again, with the help of my counselor and the BEST counselor of all-- God. :)
This two weeks has proved to be beneficial though because I came to discover what it is that God wants me to do with my life-- He wants me to pursue ministry and so that is what I am going to do. For the past 5 years, I've been constantly had question about what I am going to do, as I knew God was calling me and didn't think it would be to become a Pastor (or maybe I couldn't see myself as a Pastor) However, it's become clear to me during this two week hmmm recovery period for me. I believe that I continue to relive these triggers because I haven't moved forward to the life God wants for me-- I am at peace with this choice and having God helped me get here FINALLY. In turn, this job that has been abusive is still in my life, as I will return to work on Monday, meet with the Director on Tuesday and just do my job for a bit more-- until it becomes abusive again or they fire me. Nobody has to put up with that... However, once I'm out of this job, I'm dedicating my life to a month of two of writing my autobiography so that I can finish it completely-- hopefully, I can publish it soon afterwards.
I'm excited about having a concrete choice and knowing what it is that God wants me to do. Now I just have to trust Him to take me to the resources I will need to pursue that, starting with two Pastors who I had become very close with over the last 5 years, as well as the new Pastor of the church I'm a member of..... The time is now. :) I feel it in my heart, mind, and soul.
bd, getting back to your question of if it ever goes away-- my flesh would say that no, it does not. Just as an alcoholic has to avoid alcohol in his/her recovery because of the triggers of addiction, a person who suffers from Post Traumatic Stress needs to learn how to adapt to circumstances in their life and also when necessary avoid what triggers those emotions. I've come to learn that those "triggers" are there for a reason-- to warn me that what is happening in my life is not healthy or good for me. In turn, I've learned that with the anxiety it creates and feels of being overwhelmed by my situation is ultimately not a situation that is part of Gods plan for me. I'm learning to trust God completely and in turn, now speaking from my heart, my faith to answer your question I would have to say Yes, it does go away because NOTHING is impossible with God. He is the ultimate healer and can help heal anything a person struggles with---
My prayers are with you bd-- hang in there. Learn to capture each thought you have when an emotion is "triggered" from a memory. Once you recognize these "triggers" are occuring, they are much more managable.
-- Edited by sanddie at 19:31, 2005-10-26
cdb said
Oct 26, 2005
My post traumatic syndrome came when my kids were the age I was when I was molested at 7. I started having severe panic attacks too and didn't know the two were connected. It took me years of therapy and a sexual survivor group to get where I felt in control of the flashbacks. I do not get them anymore and if I get anykind of memories I know I am an adult now and no one is going to harm or hurt me so I have empowered myself to take care of me. I did this ONLY with therapy and several good therapists. Good luck, cdb :)
kitty said
Oct 27, 2005
Yes, it happens to me -- even images (flashes of an entire event pops thru your head - it's like you are there all over again)
I think it is just the way the mind deals with the traumas we lived through, like the mind is working it out somehow, i really don't know... but yes it still happens to me too not only from when I was married over 6-10 yrs ago but sometimes I get a *flash* of something that happened to me as a kid.
Karilynn said
Oct 27, 2005
Bd,
The ghosts do come back to haunt me every once in a while. They've been popping up a lot lately mainly because he came home from rehab a year ago Nov. 1. It was a rocky start. But I have to remind myself that he's in a halfway house, and is a peer. He's doing much better. Someone once said that "the past is a far away place that we can never return to." or something like that. When something really starts to get to me, I remind myself to slow down, breath, and realize that they are just memories. If that doesn't work, then I try to take my mind off of it. Maybe read a cooking magazine, do a crossword puzzle. Something that requires more concentration seems to work for me. I have to focus on the task at hand, and before I know it, the memory fades. I will say, that if you are finding that the memories are really starting to bother you, you might want to talk to a sponsor or a councelor. I had a hard time with my Mom's passing when I was 19. A couple of years later somethings were starting to crop up. (I wasn't molested or anything like that.) I decided maybe I needed to talk to someone. It helped.
A friend of mine has this saying about ghosts: A ghost is just an overgrown dust bunny that can be swept away with a really big broom!
Live strong,
Karilynn
twinmom2 said
Oct 27, 2005
PTSD is very real and can creep into your life at any time. The kicker about this diagnosis is the memories can be latent and become triggered by a familiar smell, person, conversation even. The mind and the body remember abusive situations. Talk to a therapist that has good experience with PTSD, talking about how you felt at that moment, whether it was panic, fearful, anger, or all emotions at once can help you uncover what the triggers are. Your HP can get you through some tough times as well. I myself have gone through PTSD symptoms when dealing with my father. I remove myself from the situation and try to meditate on why I got so worked up emotionally. There is lots of support with in Alanon, PTSD groups, therapy, and above all God.
Thank you for sharing
nmike said
Oct 27, 2005
Hi bd,
My husband (recovering A) and I went to a counselor about our marital problems. She wouldn 't even deal with our coupleness. She said particularly that she thought my husband suffered from PTSD and that he needed individual counseling for that before she could deal with our marriage. My husband witnessed domestic violence, alcoholism, was physically abused, shamed, etc. I believe that PTSD reveals itself in our marriage (we are separated) daily. He can not handle any conflict, stress, disagreement, loud voices, or threat of violence. He totally shuts down. He is constantly behind walls.
We have both gone through Survivor's workshops for group therapy. You can find relief for those memories. You can get your power back.
In support,
Nancy
Sallen said
Oct 27, 2005
I have dealt with this, not knowing truly what was happening, only a sound or event that put/triggered me right back in that crazy place that I worked so hard to get out of. Away from that serenity. My counselor taught me a technique that helped me a great deal...because sometimes, thrust back into those moments, I would doubt myself and my reactions. She taught me breathing techniques to calm me and then how to detach from the situation and to play it out in my mind like it was happening to someone else (like writing or reading a story) and from that point of view what would be the logical reaction or next move. I would begin to minimize things, think it was me not him or I imagined the whole thing.... this has helped me... I know it is a form of detachment..but it works for me. And it has showed me, that generally, what I am thinking and feeling is right on!!!
SashaBear said
Oct 27, 2005
PTSD is why my A started drinking. He had a traumatic accident four years ago, became very depressed while at home recooperating. He would have flashbacks and nightmares. When he was ready to go back to work his employer terminated him instead. He has spiraled downhill ever since. It is very real and devastating. If you are troubled by these memories you need to get some counseling to help you get through it before it really impacts your life. :)
I was wondering if anyone else even though your not daily involved with an Active A still suffers from nightmares and images that pop into your head as memories of events. I know it is often referred to as post traumatic disorder. Sometimes I'm just sitting watching tv or driving home and this horrible memory will suddenly come up and I feel like i'm still in that situation or have the same emotions that I had at that time.
Does this ever stop? I believe I have come to terms with my past so why won't this go away?
bd
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is VERY real. A smell can even trigger a memory or a situation can take me back 20 years at times where I feel I'm reliving an abusive situation. For the most part, I've learned to recognize those situations within a minute or so that trigger that emotion and capture the thought, turning it around to help me realize that I'm here today, away from that situation. But I will say this... There are times if your circumstances around you are so overwhelming (like they've been with me the past month) and you get things coming at you from ALL directions that it is VERY difficult not to break down. Actually, that is what I've been experiencing very bad the past couple of weeks due to an abusive situation that occured at my place of employment with my boss and the Director of HR. In turn, my doctor has kept me off work these past two weeks to get grounded in the present again, with the help of my counselor and the BEST counselor of all-- God. :)
This two weeks has proved to be beneficial though because I came to discover what it is that God wants me to do with my life-- He wants me to pursue ministry and so that is what I am going to do. For the past 5 years, I've been constantly had question about what I am going to do, as I knew God was calling me and didn't think it would be to become a Pastor (or maybe I couldn't see myself as a Pastor) However, it's become clear to me during this two week hmmm recovery period for me. I believe that I continue to relive these triggers because I haven't moved forward to the life God wants for me-- I am at peace with this choice and having God helped me get here FINALLY. In turn, this job that has been abusive is still in my life, as I will return to work on Monday, meet with the Director on Tuesday and just do my job for a bit more-- until it becomes abusive again or they fire me. Nobody has to put up with that... However, once I'm out of this job, I'm dedicating my life to a month of two of writing my autobiography so that I can finish it completely-- hopefully, I can publish it soon afterwards.
I'm excited about having a concrete choice and knowing what it is that God wants me to do. Now I just have to trust Him to take me to the resources I will need to pursue that, starting with two Pastors who I had become very close with over the last 5 years, as well as the new Pastor of the church I'm a member of..... The time is now. :) I feel it in my heart, mind, and soul.
bd, getting back to your question of if it ever goes away-- my flesh would say that no, it does not. Just as an alcoholic has to avoid alcohol in his/her recovery because of the triggers of addiction, a person who suffers from Post Traumatic Stress needs to learn how to adapt to circumstances in their life and also when necessary avoid what triggers those emotions. I've come to learn that those "triggers" are there for a reason-- to warn me that what is happening in my life is not healthy or good for me. In turn, I've learned that with the anxiety it creates and feels of being overwhelmed by my situation is ultimately not a situation that is part of Gods plan for me. I'm learning to trust God completely and in turn, now speaking from my heart, my faith to answer your question I would have to say Yes, it does go away because NOTHING is impossible with God. He is the ultimate healer and can help heal anything a person struggles with---
My prayers are with you bd-- hang in there. Learn to capture each thought you have when an emotion is "triggered" from a memory. Once you recognize these "triggers" are occuring, they are much more managable.
-- Edited by sanddie at 19:31, 2005-10-26
Yes, it happens to me -- even images (flashes of an entire event pops thru your head - it's like you are there all over again)
I think it is just the way the mind deals with the traumas we lived through, like the mind is working it out somehow, i really don't know... but yes it still happens to me too not only from when I was married over 6-10 yrs ago but sometimes I get a *flash* of something that happened to me as a kid.
PTSD is very real and can creep into your life at any time. The kicker about this diagnosis is the memories can be latent and become triggered by a familiar smell, person, conversation even. The mind and the body remember abusive situations. Talk to a therapist that has good experience with PTSD, talking about how you felt at that moment, whether it was panic, fearful, anger, or all emotions at once can help you uncover what the triggers are. Your HP can get you through some tough times as well. I myself have gone through PTSD symptoms when dealing with my father. I remove myself from the situation and try to meditate on why I got so worked up emotionally. There is lots of support with in Alanon, PTSD groups, therapy, and above all God.
Thank you for sharing
Hi bd,
My husband (recovering A) and I went to a counselor about our marital problems. She wouldn 't even deal with our coupleness. She said particularly that she thought my husband suffered from PTSD and that he needed individual counseling for that before she could deal with our marriage. My husband witnessed domestic violence, alcoholism, was physically abused, shamed, etc. I believe that PTSD reveals itself in our marriage (we are separated) daily. He can not handle any conflict, stress, disagreement, loud voices, or threat of violence. He totally shuts down. He is constantly behind walls.
We have both gone through Survivor's workshops for group therapy. You can find relief for those memories. You can get your power back.
In support,
Nancy
I have dealt with this, not knowing truly what was happening, only a sound or event that put/triggered me right back in that crazy place that I worked so hard to get out of. Away from that serenity. My counselor taught me a technique that helped me a great deal...because sometimes, thrust back into those moments, I would doubt myself and my reactions. She taught me breathing techniques to calm me and then how to detach from the situation and to play it out in my mind like it was happening to someone else (like writing or reading a story) and from that point of view what would be the logical reaction or next move. I would begin to minimize things, think it was me not him or I imagined the whole thing.... this has helped me... I know it is a form of detachment..but it works for me. And it has showed me, that generally, what I am thinking and feeling is right on!!!