After all the praying I did yesterday @ my folk's home (& I Blessed it)... today driving over there I got a rush of ecstacy, pure joy & I actually cried a little it was so overwhelming & I realized I do not have to seek to love anyone ---
I mean, up to yesterday, I kept calling myself a co-dependent & saying I could sacrifice myself for my mother easily & willingly. Wanting to love another like that is sick, if u love them more than yourself -- your own soul dies slow & true. And in the past I always had like this "desperation" of loving that I felt for others... most especially in regards to men & romantic love. That is just like an "A" dis-associating myself from the love of my own self, literally self-sacrificing me! *soul suicide*
So when I felt this *glimmer, speck, glint, NEW* feeling of actual LOVE growing inside of me for me, it brought tears to my eyes & a happy realisation that I can be free from ever having to feel desperate ever again, because I can love myself first!
HA, it's miraculous... the last few months, the last 24 hours, prayers really do come true!
Besides love is light, it is relfected naturally & exponentially. Instead of 'giving all of my love away' imagine saving 50% of my love for myself, then it grows, so I must get at least 200% more love to experience -- who knows, instead of times 4 maybe it's times ten!
All I know is I actually feel happy & lighter than I did yesterday... even though I am a lil drained, I feel actual JOY - for no reason at all, just cuz it's there, here inside!
Thank you God, omg, thank you - I just wanted to share this! *wow
Emmie11 said
Oct 22, 2005
Yay, kitty! What an inspiration! Thanks so much for sharing your spiritual experience. Blow gently on that spark of hope, joy and love and feed it good things so it burns more brightly inside you. That way you will always have warmth and light no matter how dark and cold it is around you!!
Wow is right, thanks for starting off my day with something so uplifting.
Emmie
rosie light shines said
Oct 23, 2005
hey ((((((((kitty))))))))) wow, GR8 stuff.....i loved this you said " Wanting to love another like that is sick, if u love them more than yourself -- your own soul dies slow & true. "
i am recovering Coda, andthat is EXACTLY what i did!!! i hated me so badly , i "sucked up" to ANYone who would love/ accept me........Boy am i glad for recovery.....NOW i take care of me......"love is an INside job" i know now with great pleasure that i MUST love me FIRST, before i can radiate that out to the universe........thanks , my friend, for this great reminder that i am "on the course" .........love n hugs/ rosie
After all the praying I did yesterday @ my folk's home (& I Blessed it)... today driving over there I got a rush of ecstacy, pure joy & I actually cried a little it was so overwhelming & I realized I do not have to seek to love anyone ---
I mean, up to yesterday, I kept calling myself a co-dependent & saying I could sacrifice myself for my mother easily & willingly. Wanting to love another like that is sick, if u love them more than yourself -- your own soul dies slow & true. And in the past I always had like this "desperation" of loving that I felt for others... most especially in regards to men & romantic love. That is just like an "A" dis-associating myself from the love of my own self, literally self-sacrificing me! *soul suicide*
So when I felt this *glimmer, speck, glint, NEW* feeling of actual LOVE growing inside of me for me, it brought tears to my eyes & a happy realisation that I can be free from ever having to feel desperate ever again, because I can love myself first!
HA, it's miraculous... the last few months, the last 24 hours, prayers really do come true!
Besides love is light, it is relfected naturally & exponentially. Instead of 'giving all of my love away' imagine saving 50% of my love for myself, then it grows, so I must get at least 200% more love to experience -- who knows, instead of times 4 maybe it's times ten!
All I know is I actually feel happy & lighter than I did yesterday... even though I am a lil drained, I feel actual JOY - for no reason at all, just cuz it's there, here inside!
Thank you God, omg, thank you - I just wanted to share this! *wow
Yay, kitty! What an inspiration! Thanks so much for sharing your spiritual experience. Blow gently on that spark of hope, joy and love and feed it good things so it burns more brightly inside you. That way you will always have warmth and light no matter how dark and cold it is around you!!
Wow is right, thanks for starting off my day with something so uplifting.
Emmie
hey ((((((((kitty))))))))) wow, GR8 stuff.....i loved this you said " Wanting to love another like that is sick, if u love them more than yourself -- your own soul dies slow & true. "
i am recovering Coda, andthat is EXACTLY what i did!!! i hated me so badly , i "sucked up" to ANYone who would love/ accept me........Boy am i glad for recovery.....NOW i take care of me......"love is an INside job" i know now with great pleasure that i MUST love me FIRST, before i can radiate that out to the universe........thanks , my friend, for this great reminder that i am "on the course" .........love n hugs/ rosie