Here is an update on true progress. My hubby still is not sober, but MY changed attitude was shown clearly today. We had to punish our children for quite a severe lie today, and we actually sat at the table and talked it out, finding the best solution we could think of. He is not in a program. MY CHANGED ATTITUDE aided recovery in the area of discipline of our children. For the first time he didn't lash out in anger. And I didn't protect the kids from their punishment. Just wanted to post that for people who think that things won't change if their A doesn't find a program. LET IT BEGIN WITH ME! LUV Aron

What a great lesson for us all.  Thank you for posting positives, we all need them.

I have learned that the words "Me" & "I" are very important and I have all of you to thank for that.

Keep up the good work

hadit

It is looking good. It is important to be able to agree on something instead of fighting. Keep up the postive attidued.

Hi Aron- This sounds like a familiar scene at my house. It is nice when you and your H can be on the same team (vs the kids). We go thru a lot of discussions about kid problems at my house. My H tends to be more bothered by the little stuff (their rooms being messy,how or what they eat at dinner) I have a hard time agreeing with him on those situations. When it comes to the big ones, though, we tend to team up better. My H is not in a program but is currently not using either. I think that one of the ways that he has been able to maintain some sobriety lately is that he has seen #1-that I NEED his input with these kids--he can't just veg on the couch! and #2- He needs to participate CONSISTANTLY--- not just "go off" on them when he feels like it. Where alanon has helped me the most is to make me think before I talk--and take the blaming out of the picture. Like you, I realize that I can't change him--but we can still work on mutual goals, even though everything isn't "perfect". take care and keep up the good work- Jeanne