I am new here and have been affected by alcoholism. It is a very sad thing, yet I know I am powerless over his disease. I met this man a year ago, and I grew to care about him. He drank a few times when I was with him, but never did I expect him to be an alcoholic. As the months have passed by, I see that he has a problem. He has had 4 DUI's in the past and just got his license back last week after he was picked up for driving under suspension. At times, it is so hard to detach, but I know it is necessary if he is to get well. He gets drunk once a week maybe more often as he does not live in the same city as myself. I have slowly started to talk to him about the effects of drinking, as my brother went through treatment and is sober now for 52 days..Thank you Lord. I may have put a scare in him telling him what my brother went through and the effects alcohol has had on his family and his health. I get angry, sad, frustrated, and feel so dam rejected by his drinking. He has made me promises, said very nice things to me, but fails to follow through with anything. He never comes to see me anymore, so I went up there in July and have not seen him since. We talk on the phone yet, but not as often as we use to. I am trying to take care of myself by reading Al Anon literature, attending Al Anon meetings and meeting new friends. I panic at times when I don't hear from him. I had called him last Saturday nite as it had been two weeks since he had called me ... of course he was lit up when he called and told me "See you tomorrow" I was excited only to have been let down once again as he never did come down. I had asked him the next day if he was still coming down and he was totally blank. He informed me he was so tired and that he don't remember telling me that. This is not the first time he has forgotten what he had said..I guess I would like some advice. I have been wanting to talk to him about his behavior when drinking, his personality changes, and the blackouts. I would appreciate any advice anyone can give me ....I fear bringing certain issues up as I feel he may leave and never talk to me again. So I sit here quietly and pray that God will see him and I through this. We have a beautiful friendship and at times, he has been my best friend.. Thanks for listening. God bless..Diane
nmike said
Oct 18, 2005
Hi Diane,
Call it the disease of alcoholism. We all seem to wait for their call (as promised) and they seem oblivious that they were suppose to call. Keep reading the literature and going to meetings. All this helps. For me it has taken a long, long time to really comprehend what this is all about. When you start censoring what you say and avoiding certain topics this is a "tip-off" as to what you are up against. Take care of yourself first!
In support,
Nancy
marmare said
Oct 18, 2005
Welcome! You will find the experiences here are so similar to your own. It's been a place for me to know that I am not alone.
Hugs Mary
Jeannie said
Oct 18, 2005
Hi Diane,
Broken promises and not remembering or changing what was said are normal for most Alcoholics.
You can tell him about another and what they have been through, but until they are ready to accept the help, they won't.
You will find that all of us have been through much of the same things you are going through. The names are different, but hte stories are scarily similar. Keep reading, try and get to meetings and come here to vent, or just to ask. Alanon is not to stop him from drinking, but to care for you.
Hello everyone,
I am new here and have been affected by alcoholism. It is a very sad thing, yet I know I am powerless over his disease. I met this man a year ago, and I grew to care about him. He drank a few times when I was with him, but never did I expect him to be an alcoholic. As the months have passed by, I see that he has a problem. He has had 4 DUI's in the past and just got his license back last week after he was picked up for driving under suspension. At times, it is so hard to detach, but I know it is necessary if he is to get well. He gets drunk once a week maybe more often as he does not live in the same city as myself. I have slowly started to talk to him about the effects of drinking, as my brother went through treatment and is sober now for 52 days
..Thank you Lord. I may have put a scare in him telling him what my brother went through and the effects alcohol has had on his family and his health. I get angry
, sad, frustrated, and feel so dam rejected by his drinking. He has made me promises, said very nice things to me, but fails to follow through with anything. He never comes to see me anymore, so I went up there in July and have not seen him since. We talk on the phone yet, but not as often as we use to. I am trying to take care of myself by reading Al Anon literature, attending Al Anon meetings and meeting new friends. I panic at times when I don't hear from him. I had called him last Saturday nite as it had been two weeks since he had called me ... of course he was lit up when he called and told me "See you tomorrow" I was excited only to have been let down once again as he never did come down. I had asked him the next day if he was still coming down and he was totally blank. He informed me he was so tired and that he don't remember telling me that. This is not the first time he has forgotten what he had said..I guess I would like some advice. I have been wanting to talk to him about his behavior when drinking, his personality changes, and the blackouts. I would appreciate any advice anyone can give me ....I fear bringing certain issues up as I feel he may leave and never talk to me again. So I sit here quietly and pray that God will see him and I through this. We have a beautiful friendship and at times, he has been my best friend.. Thanks for listening. God bless..Diane
Hi Diane,
Call it the disease of alcoholism. We all seem to wait for their call (as promised) and they seem oblivious that they were suppose to call. Keep reading the literature and going to meetings. All this helps. For me it has taken a long, long time to really comprehend what this is all about. When you start censoring what you say and avoiding certain topics this is a "tip-off" as to what you are up against. Take care of yourself first!
In support,
Nancy
Welcome! You will find the experiences here are so similar to your own. It's been a place for me to know that I am not alone.
Hugs Mary
Hi Diane,
Broken promises and not remembering or changing what was said are normal for most Alcoholics.
You can tell him about another and what they have been through, but until they are ready to accept the help, they won't.
You will find that all of us have been through much of the same things you are going through. The names are different, but hte stories are scarily similar. Keep reading, try and get to meetings and come here to vent, or just to ask. Alanon is not to stop him from drinking, but to care for you.
Love Jeannie