I got such helpful support and input two weeks ago when i wrote about my a gambling all his money away and begging me to loan him money, so i wanted to let you all know how it panned out. I did end up loaning him $50. not the $100 he was asking for. i had to at least loan him some...the thought of his abuse all weekend was more than i was up for. but, i believe hp was still able to do some work.
i did not loan him the $25 he needed for his drivers license thing, so he bounced a check out of his own account for that, and the $50 i loaned him only got him through the weekend, so he ended up bouncing checks all week till payday. he is still paying for that. even though i loaned him the $50, that wasn't near enough to support his habit, so i believe he still suffered quite a bit, financially, for his irresponsibility. a small step towards his bottom, but, none-the-less, a step. he never asked me for another dime all week, cuz he knew $50 should have been enough. he wrote a check out to me for $50, so i did get paid back as soon as he got his paycheck.
i went through such a battle inside about that whole deal! one part of me thought...'you're on your own, dude', and another part of me thought...'loan him what SHOULD be enough for a non-a, and the rest is his problem'. i dont know, i did what i did, spared myself being called every name in the book, and he still had to pay the consequences of his gambling. overdraft fees galore, not to mention how bad i know he feels about himself for blowing all his money. not that he will never do it again, cuz he will. altho he swears he will never do that again! gee, never heard THAT before!
anyway, i felt bad that i never came back here to let all of you who replied to me know how it all turned out. oddly, i found out that i could stretch the little income i have even farther than i thought i could...buying the basic grocery needs to get us by that i usually depend on him to do, and stuff like that. i actually felt more free walking in the store and buying a few things, even tho i HATED that i was forced to do it, but at the same time, it brought me a good feeling, if that makes sense. there's a lesson in all this for me, too, somewhere!
when i was married before, we had 5 kids, and i didnt work, and i really learned how to make do with not much. i have to say, i am learning to make do with even LESS with only one child and an a than i ever did back then, but i see those years with 5 little ones really helped me tons to be creative with little. thank goodness my son and i love grilled cheese sandwiches and that bread is cheap!
well, just wanted to drop in. i think back often of the support and ideas i received here two weeks ago when i was in the midst of that nightmare. thank you all so much!
Hi folks!
I got such helpful support and input two weeks ago when i wrote about my a gambling all his money away and begging me to loan him money, so i wanted to let you all know how it panned out. I did end up loaning him $50. not the $100 he was asking for. i had to at least loan him some...the thought of his abuse all weekend was more than i was up for. but, i believe hp was still able to do some work.
i did not loan him the $25 he needed for his drivers license thing, so he bounced a check out of his own account for that, and the $50 i loaned him only got him through the weekend, so he ended up bouncing checks all week till payday. he is still paying for that. even though i loaned him the $50, that wasn't near enough to support his habit, so i believe he still suffered quite a bit, financially, for his irresponsibility. a small step towards his bottom, but, none-the-less, a step. he never asked me for another dime all week, cuz he knew $50 should have been enough. he wrote a check out to me for $50, so i did get paid back as soon as he got his paycheck.
i went through such a battle inside about that whole deal! one part of me thought...'you're on your own, dude', and another part of me thought...'loan him what SHOULD be enough for a non-a, and the rest is his problem'. i dont know, i did what i did, spared myself being called every name in the book, and he still had to pay the consequences of his gambling. overdraft fees galore, not to mention how bad i know he feels about himself for blowing all his money. not that he will never do it again, cuz he will. altho he swears he will never do that again! gee, never heard THAT before!
anyway, i felt bad that i never came back here to let all of you who replied to me know how it all turned out. oddly, i found out that i could stretch the little income i have even farther than i thought i could...buying the basic grocery needs to get us by that i usually depend on him to do, and stuff like that. i actually felt more free walking in the store and buying a few things, even tho i HATED that i was forced to do it, but at the same time, it brought me a good feeling, if that makes sense. there's a lesson in all this for me, too, somewhere!
when i was married before, we had 5 kids, and i didnt work, and i really learned how to make do with not much. i have to say, i am learning to make do with even LESS with only one child and an a than i ever did back then, but i see those years with 5 little ones really helped me tons to be creative with little. thank goodness my son and i love grilled cheese sandwiches and that bread is cheap!
well, just wanted to drop in. i think back often of the support and ideas i received here two weeks ago when i was in the midst of that nightmare. thank you all so much!
lori