Just got back from a family visit with my sister & her family.  I went with my folks, Dad is a recovering A over 10 years, Mom, well, let’s just say Mom feels sorry for herself A LOT.

 

Well, after driving over an hour in the backseat with Mom & Dad in front (I felt like I was nine years old again).  Only making left-hand turns the whole way…..lol.

 

Anyway, my sister & her husband drink excessively.  They have three boys & the older ones are getting into trouble more often than not.  They get a handle on it, but my nephews know how to pit then against each other & it makes for a lot of mayhem. 

 

It’s pure alcoholic behavior & it drives me crazy!  Everyone was so SELFISH it made me sick.  Even the kids are learning this behavior.  I will try to be there for them, as their aunt.  I will let them know about this programs & others if they ever want to learn more….

 

I just needed to vent here.  I got home & cried without really know why.  I always thought it was me, but I realize now, that it’s just too much for anyone to absorb normally.  I gotta let it go. 

 

I lite up my candles, catching up on TV with my cat, & taking care of me. 

 

I don’t want to drink, I’m just sick of this disease.  It won’t stop feeding off the people I love, I hate it!

 

Thanks for listening J

 

Christine

 

 

(((Christine)))

I think you're right that this disease is too much for anyone to absorb normally.  I pray every day that my children do not follow down their father's path.  My oldest just started experimenting with alcohol at age 18.  I just want to lock him up and keep him safe, but I know that's not realistic.  I too just have to let it go. I too hate alcohol.

Keep taking care of you!

I am glad you wrote. My A's family is a mess. Father was a horribly abusive man and an alcoholic. Beat everyone in the family. Father died alone in a tiny apt. He decided to stop drinking and died detoxing. Thus the oldest son turned into an insecure, mpd, any drug to soften lifes pains person. The next son turned into an introverted, heroin user, got to where he believed his own tall tales. He died in my arms from cirrosis and everywhere in his body bled out. The younger sister, blond, curly hair, loved horses her dog and cats. Now is an ugly meth user, evil, psychotic. The mom is demented, evil, lies, codependant, enabler and full of hate. This was the family people saw at church. All in nice cloths, polite, clean. I have loved my A since i was a kid and have seen how they get worse and worse and it is awful. The daughter has a son who is drug affected. Of course you cry. They are people who are tortured and we love them. It had to be stressfull for you to be surrounded by demons. I believe they are all around and in many people. To see those kids, and you know what is in store for them is horribly hard. I wonder how many people really do escape it when the whole family is involoved? Now the second son I spoke of, got on methadone, worked for the govenor! I wa sso proud of him. It tore him up to see his family such a mess. He told me he just wanted one day that his family could be normal. When he was dieing up at the hospital 2 hours away, his family came up one time. I was horrified. I constantly made arrangements and bused, trained and was driven up there by other friends who loved him. i slept in the waiting room. It is one subject i cannot talk to my A about. i am still so very, very upset by how they treated him. Wow did not mean to go on. You are taking care of you. Hp is too. It sounds like you appreciate the simple things. I also appreciated what you said about being available to the kids if they ever want to get help, or learn about the disease. I am glad to read how aware you are. Also glad the disease has not pulled you in. Alanon skills will help you. If I were you, I would take a bunch of womens study courses, courses on knowing yourself. Get yourself totally away from alcoholism and learn about other things too. It sure helped me Christine. I was in my late fourties when I went back to school. Learned more about life than academics. Anyway keep up with those anti stressors. They are vital for us A lovers. love,debilyn