he said to me that he is no good .that he gives up and he can't handle the pressure and he wants me to move on, he doesn't deserve me. i am a good person an deserve to be happy.  i just cried my eyes out and he hung up the phone. and he turned his phone off again.

i am so worried he will hurt himself and i feel like i want to go look for him but i won't now what do i do

Pain is the only thing that can help an addict seek recovery.  Allow him to go through this.  It's what he needs.  What can you do?  You can pray.  Pray for him, pray for guidance for yourself, pray the serenity prayer.  You can also go to as many face to face meetings right now, and work your program as aggresively as possible.  If you don't have a sponsor, get one and busy yourself with the steps.  Allow his Higher Power to work in his life, and do your best not to get in His way.  If you have faith......than things are exactly the way they are supposed to be right now.  Hang in there and don't allow yourself to panic.

OMG!!!!! Chrissy this is the exact words my A said to me yesterday!!!! I too have the same fear as you, that he will hurt himself.  I think they go to some kind of classes to learn what to say and how to act.  Hang in there Girlfriend!  We are strong and will do what we have to take care of ourselves.

Hugs Mary

(((chrissy))) I agree...PRAY! Remember, he has a HP also. This may be part of his "process" he has to go thru. Keep working your program and PRAY PRAY PRAY.

This is a really hard one Chrissy, as detachment in these times is so very difficult...  Chances are, he is using the pity pot stories to suck you back into his disease....  Of course, there IS a chance that he might do something harmful to himself, but there is always that chance...

Unfortunately, most of the learnings and principles we are gaining in Al-Anon are equally applicable to behaviors outside of his direct disease....

"he will either drink, use, hurt himself, hurt others, etc., etc., or he won't..... what are YOU gonna do?"

I'm afraid you can't really influence or control him into being safe and acting rationally, anymore than you can influence or control him into being sober... 

I feel your pain and anguish in your post.... Please take care of you right now.

Tom

Chrissy,

I want you to try and keep busy, clean your cupboards whatever to keep the focus on you.  If your A does try to harm himself in some way, you cannot stop it.  There will always be a time that can present itself if someone is determined enough to seek it.  If it makes you feel better just message him.  Something simple - hi just checking to see how your day went.  Surrender to HP remember everything happens for a reason and let it go.  I am here for you so keep messaging me if you need to.  Luv Leo