Was reading in my husband's big book a while back and wasn't sure if all were framilar with the chapers that are addressed to us, the Alanoners..... There are 2 of them they are labeled "To Wives" and "The Family Afterward."  "To Wives" was written when most of the time the alcoholic in the family was the husband, but of course, if you are the husband and your wife is the alcoholic, just switch the he/she.  There is also info for you when your child or your parent is the alcoholic in your life.

The family of Alanon was formed about 13 years after these chapters were written.  Many of our slogans and much of our Preamble and Closeing are right there, many are worded the exact way we still say them today. On top of all that, there is much more information and explaination about alcoholism that can only help your program. If you have not read them before, I sure hope this inspired you to do so! heehee   The Chapter starts on pg. 104, it's not to long so go get that book out! lol

love you all biggggg much,

Trina

ps.... I think the big book is available online somewhere where you can scroll right through it in your computer.... anybody know more about that?

-- Edited by mastiff at 14:40, 2005-10-10

Mastiff, Go to www. Alchoholic anonymous.org. They have the Blue Book on line. Not that I'm computer savy, but it might require having Adobe which you can download for free. I keep the AA on my favorites list, just under this site. I find it's a very helpful read. The chapter on wives and the family afterwards were the first chapters I read. Does anyone know why we don't have our book available online? It might be beneficial. Thanks for the reminder. Live strong, Karilynn

i believe this is it

http://www.12step.org/references/bigbook.php

take care

Some groups have "Family Afterward" meetings, with AA and Al-Anon couples attending together. For more info, contact your local Al-Anon Information Services office.

No offence meant to anyone, but, the Big Book is for AA. Lois ( our founder) did not include big book in our literature. Actually, if you read "Lois Remembers", you will see a quote from Bill, saying, "keep us alkis out of it" lolol. My home group currently has many dual members, it is a job to keep reminding them that we are not poor relations of AA, we do not need to learn "how to do it"! Just my thoughts, take what you like etc. etc. Love, Flora xxx

Flora, While I agree with you that we need to keep some separation. But for me I had to understand what was going on with him. When this happened last year, I was brand new to this. The first place I turned to in order to understand the alcoholic was the Blue Book. Then I went on to read other books on addiction. I had to try and understand the behavior of them first. I've read "Lois Remembers" and it's very helpful. But I wasn't ready for it last year. From this person perspective, the more information I have the better off I am. I value the A's perspective. When I can't figure something out, sometimes hearing the other side helps. What this program has taught me is that our own recovery is a very personal thing. We all handle it very differently. It's what works for each of us. There is no cookie cutter science to this. Thanks for your input. Valuable as always. Live strong, Karilynn

I do agree that the big book is for AA, however, the "to wives" chapter was not for the recovery of alcoholism, but rather written for those who live with an alcoholic...."the family afterward" is written in regards to what the family of an alcoholic goes through.... I cant see that information keeping an alcoholic sober that's for sure, but having some explaination and some es&h before alanon was even formed must have been life saving for others like you and me without their own program being formed yet.  If you have questions about the relevance of those pages to alanon, i liked the note on the bottom of page 121. 

lots of love, Trina

i would like to know too if we have any books online or if we could get them online

(((notsonew))) there should be links right on the page where you get into the chat/meeting room.  If you cant find them, there are alanon books available at amazon.com i would guess you look under recovery or alanon.  My personal favorite is "Paths to Recovery -Alanon's Steps, Traditions and Concepts."  That book is known as "my big book" in this house. lol

lots of love, trina