Hi There

I can't believe the kindness of this group.  All the hands that have been extended in my time of need.  I guess my biggest thing was that I needed to ask.  To admit I had all these feelings was a hard thing to do.  People who know me just tell me to let it go.  I don't have to deal with the A's in my life on a daily basis anymore.  That isn't the point....its all the memories that pop up of things that have been done or said that don't leave.  You may leave the situations but the scars remain.  In away it hurts to have the kindness of perfect strangers and not those of your friends.  I guess you have to go through it to truly understand it. 

Does anyone know where I can get the reading material for adult children of A.

brandie

You can contact any alanon meeting in your area, They will have free pamphlets that you can have. Also in some areas they have ACOA groups (Adult Children of Alcoholics). They are usually listed in the phone books. If you are suffering because of anothers drinking, you are in the right place. We have a saying in Alanon,,," Try at least 6 meetings if you are not satisfied, we will gladly refund your misery." Glad you found us. Gardengal

You are sooooo in the right place!!! What you are experiencing is very real - and there are ways you can learn to cope, and RECOVER from past experiences. I agree with Gardengal - you need to contact your local alanon organization - you will find help and material there. You will actually meet kindred spirits - tangible ppl who know your pain. My first book was 'alanon and how it works - for friends and families of alcoholics' . This book was so enlightening! I learned about the disease, and MY reaction to it. There is lots of material - start with alanon, and if you have ACOA group GO GO GO!! Find the courage - and get the tools you need. You are already on your way by coming here -- you are so NOT ALONE!! Your friend in recovery, Angie

Brandie... for what it's worth, I think it is fairly common for more support to come from "strangers" (i.e. Al-Anon), than it is for close family and friends.... People who have not been through this stuff, and through their own recoveries, will often give us very basic, well-meaning advice, that isn't very applicable to those of us who have lived around alcoholism...  In many ways, this is a good thing, so we learn to utilize our "Al-Anon family" for our bigger issues, and that allows us to remain in our friends & family's lives without trying to use them in a sponsor type of role, that isn't good for anyone...

Hope that makes sense

Take care

Tom

Hi bd,

The best literature I have found for myself as an adult child is actually Al-Anon conference approved...From Survival To Recovery is geared toward adult children, and the daily reader Hope for Today is compiled from sharings of adult children. These should be available for sale through this site or the Al-Anon site, or at face to face meetings.

Here are amazon links to other (non-CAL) books that were very helpful to me (You might also check your library):

Women Who Love Too Much (this book is actually how I found my way into this program)

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0671733419/qid=1128979077/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/102-6350414-9931314?v=glance&s=books

It Will Never Happen to Me

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0345345940/qid=1128978910/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-6350414-9931314?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Hope these help!

Glad you are feeling better...

emmie

-- Edited by Emmie11 at 17:34, 2005-10-10

Hi Brandie - glad to see you again. I sometimes can't believe the kindness of this group, either. I think I feel kindness here because I know the people here can relate to where I have been, where I am now, and where I am trying to go. I don't talk to my own family about this stuff, I come here. It's like a foreign language - harder to communicate with people who don't speak the same language. People here speak my language, and through them and the program I in turn learn how to communicate with my family in a way that doesn't drive me nuts. I'm actually going on vacation with my parents in April, which is something I wouldn't have dreamed of doing a couple of years ago. Today I can do that. Go figure...:) Keep coming back! Kristen