well my partner has been dry for 5 weeks , which has been wonderfull but also scarey. i have dreams about him drinking and all that intails . the sulking , arguing, and the police that have been called by a neighbour or ambulance as he has hurt himself . when he is drunk he is a bloody nightmare and i could cheerfully kill him . so to find myself falling back in love with him is not with out risk to me and my children. i have lost family and friends , the cost of this realationship has been high in all aspects .but when he is sober my little alcholic is the man of my dreams . the sensitivity and emotional depth  that he posesses leaves me breathless at times . but that is the very thing that leaves him vulnerble to this horriable destructive disease . which was destroying him as he has little defence against the real world . so he is taking it one day at a time and i am watching and waiting with love but alittle cynical . i thank god for .A.A. as we would not still be together with out the fellowship it gives him .  it nice to know i am not the only one out there who is mad enough to deeply love a very difficult person.

                 yours sincercly Mars

Hello Mars,

Welcome to the site :) I no long watch and wait for the alcoholic in my life ( my 21 daughter ) to be clean and sober. I work on me and work my program. She is going to do what she is going to do. The more I let her work her own program the better our relationship was. I wait for her to share about her AA stuff and her progress. I don't ask if she is going to meetings etc. It took me a long time to get to this point but I am at a much healtier place now because of it. Her relapses etc. have caused me much stress and pain when they occur and I come here when I am feeling that way. My daughter gets violent and out of her mind when she drinks/uses. She use to end of in jail etc. No small drinking with here and lots of big time consequences! It took me time to realize how I was being an enabler too. I still enable but not to the degree I use to. This helped her recovery too. I take one day at a time now and enjoy all the moments with her when I can. It is harder when you do not live with the person in my opinon becuase out of site and out of mind helps. I am only sharing my experience here is all :)  Welcome again :) I look forward to chatting and sharing with you. cdb :)

it nice to know i am not the only one out there who is mad enough to deeply love a very difficult person.

Sometimes sober is even more difficult than drunk!  But love them we do...

Hang in there and know you are not alone.

Dear Mars,

Welcome, you are among friends & thank you for your honest share.  Do you have any Al-Anon literature?  The pamphlets, books & magazines have been a god-send, along with this Board for me. 

I hear your fear & it's probably good you're a little bit cynical, that will help you focus on yourself & your own recovery.  It is insidious the way the A's slowly set us up & work us to constantly focus on their needs, wants & desires. 

Becvause I don't lie to other's I tend to just assume everyone else is honest too...  it is so far from the truth.  I pray that I have discernment & can keep the focus on my own life.  Things really do happen in God's time & not ours.

Take care & keep coming back

WELCOME!!!

I live with an active Alcoholic/Addict

I lived without him for 3 years cause I thought that the alcoholism was the root of all evil

through the seperation i discoverd that it was actually ME that is/was the root of all the evil.

I moved back in with him, changed ME, and we are finally content.

Welcome to the board.  Miracles happen here.  I am excited for yours.

Aron in the Mountains
(captcodee)