Today I got REALLY tested on how much I **love me/ accept me/ forgive me*  listen to THIS!!!!

This am, I go to sam’s club to buy dog food/ beer/ berries for my smoothies, and I see this totally **awesome*  dvd  on  “into the west”  chronicalling two families….1 white   1  lakota Sioux  and  I was waiting for it….i grabbed it and as you know at sam’s there is no **bagging*  you grab boxes on your own,   as you are leaving, but half the times I just unload from the cart in the back of my truck and I go!!!

I got to the office and oh my God!!!  I can’t remember unloading my dvd from the cart to my car!!! Like  “BOING”   I forgot!!!!!

I was heartbroken!!!  $30  shot down the tubes….i think  “ok I can drive back to sam’s and HOPE the thing is still there but no way!!”    I made the 2 mile drive anyway, in the crazy hope that it would be still in the cart….yeah right!!    On the way over there, I am saying “ok, we can’t replace it…you just have to do without and I HOPE this teaches you to slow down…I am not going to get on you cause I figure loss of movie  is lesson enough”    and as I drove I prayed to God ,  “please let this be the lesson that teaches me to **slow down* and **think* not just work my hands, with no brain behind it”   I prayed  “no more painful lessons to slow down, please let this lesson be it”    I told myself that I will get over it,  I will  be alright,  but this is what happens when you do stuff with no thinking / paying attention behind it

I got to sam’s …carts were aplenty and no dvd  in the front part…on a hunch, I go into the store and the guy at the door  (recognized me)  says “hi” and I told him what I did…he told me to try the lost and found …I went there, with no real hope  and  WAAA HOOO someone had taken it to the lost and found…..i didn’t have my receipt on me, but I did have my card…they traced it/  gave me new receipt/ and my cd and I walked out into the sunshine, AFTER I said a prayer, blessing the honest soul who returned my cd to the lost and found

As I am driving back I am thanking God for the good soul and my hp for protecting me on this one

And than it hit me!!!   I did  not  go ballistics on myself….yes, for a fleeting moment I got mad at me but I was mature and calm and forgiving about it….i did not self abuse  I did not insult myself or hit myself like I used to do….i actually had forgiveness for me  and this was BEFORE I got my dvd….i did NOT abuse me!! I did NOT  do anything bad to me!!! I forgave me!!!  I treated me like a human being!!!!   I am recovering from the self abuser!!!! I made  ** huge—jugondous*---like immense progress!!!!

I just had to tell you guys,   this is working!!!!  I am finally learning to love me!!!!!

I am gonna treat myself to something nice!!!! Don’t know what cause I am flat busted till pay day , but I’ll come up with something!!!!    Hugs, to all,   rosie 

Rosie,

You should feel proud of yourself.  Have a great day and enjoy your treat.

Luv Leo

Rosie,

Wow, what a wonderful day!

I like the part about lessons to make you slow down and think - I could use that too!

And, you also got another little lesson on trusting - there really ARE some good people in the world - the one who returned it, the fellow who recognized you, and the store clerk who took the trouble to look up your reciept! What a special day you had. Take care, and enjoy the movie.

Tchee

Hello rosie,

Thanks for sharing your positive situation with me :) It is so great when people can see the changes they are making in themselves and appreciate it too. If we don't give ourselves a pat on the back no one else may do it. Way to work your program as you continue your journey to a new you :) your friend in recovery, cdb