Well, my husband is safe, showed up at his parents on Sunday in the afternoon. That makes me feel better. My mother in-law asked him how long he planned on staying and he said if he couldn't work things out with me, then probably a month. His parents have talked about it and have decided that if he doesn't want to make the necessary changes in his life, like getting into treatment, then he can only stay there a week. They don't want to give in to the drama. that he brings.
I have decided that unless he gets the help he needs, he can not live in the same house as me. I can't force him, I can't cure him, but I do not have to live with a practicing alcoholic.
Now I will talk to my boss today and ask what is the best way to approach this with him. I have decided to wait until he calls me to talk, I know I can not "demand" that he seek treatment, but we have tried it for almost 6 years his way, controlled drinking, deals of when he will go out, etc. none of that has worked. So now he will have to figure out what will work.
Wow, I sound so grown up and mature!!!!!
Hugs Mary
nycbt said
Oct 4, 2005
It is good that you were able to make up your mind and that you are taking care of yourself. It is important. I have an active husband that is a drinker. However I haven't come to the point that you are at. I hope some day I do.
GOOD LUCK
cidboy said
Oct 4, 2005
Hi,
New here. And relatively new to Al-Anon but it sounds like you are taking care or yourself and setting boundaries. Good luck.
Hugs,
cidboy
cdb said
Oct 4, 2005
Hello marmare,
You sound so healthy to me :) Way to work your program and grow and mature. I sure hope all works out the way your HP/higher power plans. When we work the program, it sure does work. Your inlaws sound pretty wise too and are not enabling. That helps all around. I wish you all the best in your marriage. Only time will tell the outcome. In the mean time, take care of you and keep on growing and growing. :) cdb
canadianguy said
Oct 4, 2005
Sounds great Mary.... Glad (for you) that he is alive, and also thrilled to hear that both yourself, and your in-laws, are starting to set boundaries.... You sound very healthy right now, and you will need all your wits about you if/when your hubby does start down the recovery path....
It is good that you were able to make up your mind and that you are taking care of yourself. It is important. I have an active husband that is a drinker. However I haven't come to the point that you are at. I hope some day I do.
GOOD LUCK
Hi,
New here. And relatively new to Al-Anon but it sounds like you are taking care or yourself and setting boundaries. Good luck.
Hugs,
cidboy
Hello marmare,
You sound so healthy to me :) Way to work your program and grow and mature. I sure hope all works out the way your HP/higher power plans. When we work the program, it sure does work. Your inlaws sound pretty wise too and are not enabling. That helps all around. I wish you all the best in your marriage. Only time will tell the outcome. In the mean time, take care of you and keep on growing and growing. :) cdb
Sounds great Mary.... Glad (for you) that he is alive, and also thrilled to hear that both yourself, and your in-laws, are starting to set boundaries.... You sound very healthy right now, and you will need all your wits about you if/when your hubby does start down the recovery path....
Take care
Tom