this morning s topics were about forgiveness and letting go  sharing some thoughts on the meeting: i feel like  i need to let go of what i cannot change to my hp 2day   i wish i could change my older son's addiction  it makes me very sad to c him on that path   that is so familiar from growing up with it, having brothers on it, etc.   i know all the signs and c them very clearly in him and occasionally have this fantasy...    that if i could just think of the right wise motherly thing 2 say then that might make all the difference in his life   and i know intellectually atleast that if that were the case then there would be no A's on earth    we would just come to al-anon once and dfind the magic words then leave   i can c i need 2 surrender on a deeper level --all this stuff to my hp   i need to be in the bigger picture and trust that we are all just students here and no real harm can come to spiritual beings having a human experience--it may only appear as harm at times   but it is mainly the life lessons in this earth classroom and my spirit evolves each day towar a more whole self   and we touch many lives along the way and they touch ours and become part of the curriculum, but as they say "it is all good "  it may not appear so good at times,that is when i really need my Higher power's wisdom and must meditate to put on His glasses for the day   see the world as the classroom and the spiritual reality behind the human one that takes over too often in my mind.   in the smaller picture today---i also have concerns 4 my younger son 2day  that i need 2 pray about...he is starting 2 date a little and i am so concerned about the sex stuff and what comes of it potentially.  i read about kids "hooking up" and seeing oral sex as no biggy and casual sex differently i want him to have the values i have around it, but i didn't really have the same values as my parents  so i wish i had more control and i just have to accept that i need to express and model my values and pray for the best possible outcome--let go of the pieces i cannot change   mainly another person's ultimate choices...   and just cuz i didn't completely have the same values as my parents doesn't mean i went the opposite   and also i am only one case in point   and also my upbringing was totally different so that came into play and gives me hope, since we have brought them up with lots of communication etc.  i need pray/meditate/act on any gudance and to get into the bigger picture with all of this--thanks for letting me vent.   i am greatful to be able to apply the same tools to all situations...what peace i can have when i am willing to use them...that is the biggy--willingness. i need to ask for my daily dose of it.   luv123/sha-angel

Hello luv,

Thanks for the amazing post! Wow! What your wrote sure hit home with me being a mother of an alcoholic/drug addicted daughter who is recovering. If we could cure them, they would be cured, that is for sure. I mainly kept on telling my daughter that I loved her and I would never stop loving her no matter what. I tried to keep communication open so she knew she could come to me. I would tell her I believe in her and I knew how hard she struggles to stay clean and sober. I would shut my mouth and keep my heart open. This was all so hard for me because I only wanted to make it all better when in fact, only they can make themselves better. As far as the oral sex thing, I wish I had talked openly to my daughter about that. I didn't realize how prevalent it was though until I saw it talked on tv. Communication seems to be a major key in raising kids. I remember saying to her how important a reputation is in life and to do all you can to have a good one. But, I wish now I would have been much more specific in the sexual language part. I think she thought I did the things she did when I was young. I know now that kids today do so many more risky things than I did when I was young. It sounds like you are doing the best you can now and I think you will do a great job! Just coming to alanon shows that we want the best of us and them and are willing to learn and change for  a healthier life and relationship. Keep up the good work and keep on having hope. Having hope is what helps me to hang in. I have seen such wonderful changes in me and my daughter now and I know that alanon really does change lives! It just takes time. Not our time but HP/higher powers timing. Thanks again for your post. your friend in recovery, cdb :)

thanks cdb  needed to hear about the hugs and love messages today--HP is working thru you,

have a lovely hpe filled day,

Sha angel  or luv123