I have come to the conculison that I am not ready to take major steps right now with out hurting my self mental. When my husband takes my car and I do get very angry. However if I call the police they will tell me that he has a license and then they wouldn't sovle anything. My husband would be angry and then life will be very hard to live with. If he gets a DWI that is another story. I do get angry and take his key. But aren't we not to treat them like little kids. If we take something away isn't that like punishing them.
I try not carry over what happen the night before into the next day, because I don't want a repeat of it again. I do though mention somethings that I didn't like what happen. I know he doesn't remeber which is hard to deal with.
There are things I do that I wouldn't want brought up again. I have asking him to go back to the program and he doesn't seem to want to go back. So I can only cross my fingers and continue to come here and go to my meeting.
nmike said
Oct 3, 2005
nycbt,
Me too. I am not ready to take on everything that my husband throws at me. I think that is a good strategy to keep the intensity down. Also, I know that we can make decisions when we are ready.
In support,
Nancy
Jeannie said
Oct 3, 2005
Hi,
No we are not supposed to punish them. When it comes to the car, I will not alow my children to drive with my husband. As he drives drunk, this is for their protection, and not against him.
I do however hide the keys when he is very bad. We live in an area with many children. While I cannot protect the world, I care about these kids and do not want to see them in danger. While I want him to feel the consequenses of his actions, I don't want it at the expense of an innocent child, mine or anyone elses.
I have come to the conculison that I am not ready to take major steps right now with out hurting my self mental. When my husband takes my car and I do get very angry. However if I call the police they will tell me that he has a license and then they wouldn't sovle anything. My husband would be angry and then life will be very hard to live with. If he gets a DWI that is another story. I do get angry and take his key. But aren't we not to treat them like little kids. If we take something away isn't that like punishing them.
I try not carry over what happen the night before into the next day, because I don't want a repeat of it again. I do though mention somethings that I didn't like what happen. I know he doesn't remeber which is hard to deal with.
There are things I do that I wouldn't want brought up again. I have asking him to go back to the program and he doesn't seem to want to go back. So I can only cross my fingers and continue to come here and go to my meeting.
nycbt,
Me too. I am not ready to take on everything that my husband throws at me. I think that is a good strategy to keep the intensity down. Also, I know that we can make decisions when we are ready.
In support,
Nancy
Hi,
No we are not supposed to punish them. When it comes to the car, I will not alow my children to drive with my husband. As he drives drunk, this is for their protection, and not against him.
I do however hide the keys when he is very bad. We live in an area with many children. While I cannot protect the world, I care about these kids and do not want to see them in danger. While I want him to feel the consequenses of his actions, I don't want it at the expense of an innocent child, mine or anyone elses.
Jeannie