I had a telephone confrontation with my A sister today.Our mother is 90 and between myself and my 2 A sisters we have to take her to doctors,get her groceries,etc.It is stressfull to begin with but then dealing with my sisters complicates matters.Today she started yelling at me and accusing me of not doing my share,blah,blah,blah.I got pulled in and reacted.Finally I left her a message to never call me again until she gets help.She has been 'sober' almost 20 years but lately has been showing signs that she may be drinking again or heading for one.My other sister is an active alcoholic.I am the only one in my family who never drank( so I am a real nutcase).I feel guilty about telling her not to call me anymore..About cutting her off.We have had some good times but she is in a bad relationship and I have spent hours on the phone trying to help.(my first mistake)I have been telling her she needs Alanon because she seems codependent.She is married to an alcoholic is doesn't drink as far as I know but doesn't go to meetings either.She has not been to a meeting in years.I guess I just wanted someone to tell me I did the right thing but who can do that?I am the only one who knows what is right for me.And truthfully I don't want to talk to her,she exausts me.Still the nagging guilt is there.
ragingchild said
Oct 2, 2005
I can relate to you. My mom was my A. I have detached myself from her. When I was calling and she was calling me, she'd always give me guilt trips and be very sacarcastic with me. You done the right thing by refusing to talk to her and telling her to get help, in my opinion. That's what I've done so far, but I've just refused to go around my mom. My mom is a two faced kind of person. She'll tell somebody she just "loves them to pieces", then when they're gone they've become bit-hes are a**holes. She is very manipulative. Anyway, I do relate to your situation. I still to this day feel guilty for "deserting" my mom, although I don't feel like I did, my heart feels like I did. Does that make sense? I hadn't seen or talked to her in at least 2 1/2 years. I feel horrible at times, but the other times I know I can't see her or all the pain and "I must help" feelings come pouring back in. Be stong. You'll make it through.
I can relate to you. My mom was my A. I have detached myself from her. When I was calling and she was calling me, she'd always give me guilt trips and be very sacarcastic with me. You done the right thing by refusing to talk to her and telling her to get help, in my opinion. That's what I've done so far, but I've just refused to go around my mom. My mom is a two faced kind of person. She'll tell somebody she just "loves them to pieces", then when they're gone they've become bit-hes are a**holes. She is very manipulative. Anyway, I do relate to your situation. I still to this day feel guilty for "deserting" my mom, although I don't feel like I did, my heart feels like I did. Does that make sense? I hadn't seen or talked to her in at least 2 1/2 years. I feel horrible at times, but the other times I know I can't see her or all the pain and "I must help" feelings come pouring back in. Be stong. You'll make it through.
Sheri